Some people say that my best friend is a murderer.
Some people say that it's best to turn my back.
Some people say that I fooled myself in to thinking I had a friend.
Some people say that they can't even understand why I have this friend but I just can't give my friend up.
I have tried and tried but my friend has been there for me when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm hungry, when I'm tired, when I just feel like hanging out, my friend is there.
So yes it cost me more than just money to spend time with my friend but I can't seem turn my back on my friend.
I know many people have this same friend and have said "no, you aren't my friend" and been fine, actually better than ever.
I also know people who will never say adios to this friend because they have had this friend for longer than they even can remember and just don't know what to do.
In one hand I know that my friend causes me problems but in the other the comfort and ease this friend gives me is beyond words. This friend though is not hurting just me though and I don't know if I can deal with that, well at least in the level headed and kindhearted way but this friend has such a damn hold on me, I don't know how to let go.
I wish I had super powers, I wish I could just snap my fingers and tell this friend to take a hike but I am surrounded by others who also love this friend so much they rather not think of other things, or put other things which are much more important before this friend. I bet that if they joined me in the rebellion against this friend we would all benefit but that is never going to happen.
Why do I love this so called friend so much? I will tell you why, because I am addicted to this friend. I am more addicted now than I have ever been and it's killing me and I don't even care, I don't care for me but I really have to start doing that because this friend is sucking the life out of me as I suck the life out of it.
I hate to love you friend and I wish to say good bye forever but I don't know if I can. I'm scared to let you go. I'm scared that you will pull me back in to this sick and twisted relationship. I'm scared I will be weak and come back to you again like I have been time and time again. I'm scared I will fail. I'm scared.
But enough is enough and I can't keep you in my life any longer, so I am not going to say I'm sorry because I really shouldn't be for saying good bye to you, so I'll just say hello to me, to my peace of mind, to my money, to my health and to the health of those around me.
It won't be easy, I know this. It won't be smooth and pleasant but I can't be your friend any more.
So peace out to my so called friend!
Adios you liar!
Adieu...
Cigarettes. Perhaps now I will feel human once more and not like a robot who's command is to inhale you.
Wow that was longer than what I expected, sorry but yeah, I want to quit smoking, I have had enough. That's pretty much what I should of said but eh it would of been much too short :D
Love,
Lola
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