I'm not the way I used to be

I'm not the way I used to be
Time keeps passing by.
I feel the years piling up
I ask less questions of why?

I find myself aging day by day
My body isn't as young.
I do have fears,
I do have worries,
I do have moments joy.

The seasons come and go
The world keeps changing
And not always for the better
But it is what it is even if I wish it wasn't
Not much be done about that.

I wake, I smile, I laugh and cry
I make a fool of myself
Just to make time go by
I listen to problems and try to face my own
Even if I can't change them at least they are known.

I eat, I drink and reminisce
I look at images of childhood memories
And take new ones for when I'm older.

I dance and sing, mostly for myself
And wonder who is doing the same at the time
I smile again and begin to wonder
Of my friends who did it in their prime.

I read the news in hopes to hear a cheerful story
But sorrow and gory is what makes the cut
I guess I'm one of the few who wishes
That all of it would just stop.

These hands have felt the softness of a child
A prick from a sturdy thorn
A tear off the cheek of someone in despair
And held those in pain.

These ears have heard the laughter of pure joy
And songs that touch the soul.
The cries of someone who needs me to care
Stories that no one thought would ever be told.

These eyes have seen wonders of the world
Pure beauty
Insanity
Deception
Integrity
Fulfillment
Gratitude
Disgust
Shame
Happiness
and miracles.

These legs have limped when injured
Danced when happy
Ran when needed
And kicked when angry.

My breast have fed my children
Their true job has been fulfilled
Not as easy as I thought it would be at times
But none the less more grateful I can not be.

These lips have smiled at strangers
Have spoken truth and lies
Have tasted such bitter sweet nectar
Made a joke or two in hopes to laugh
Kissed a few people in the process
Did raspberries on a belly
Made noises to emphasis a story
Cursed at those who deserved it
And were silent when needed.

I'm not the way I used to be
But I still am me.
My body may not be the same
The things I used to like might have changed
But not by much or so I think.

I still find joy in simple things
Anger when injustice is made
Stand up for myself and others when needed
Now only with caution and using my brain.

I may have some scars
I may have some wrinkles
I may even have some gray hairs
And although I keep changing
As time goes by I feel that it will just keep getting better.

I accept you body for who you are becoming
I embrace you body for who you will be
I thank you for all that you have been through
And hope you last as long as I dream.

I'm sorry if I make you feel unwanted
I'm sorry if I make you feel uneasy
I'm sorry if I demand too much from you
And not thank you enough for what I have put you through.

I'm not the way I used to be
And guess what? that's ok
Cause even with my wrinkles
So called imperfections
And gray hairs
I still wake up every day.

So here is to you
The temple of my soul
I'm not the way I used to be
But I thank you for it all.

By Lola.