Friday, October 16, 2009

Screaming in silence

In the great big city of Manhattan, New York, people come and people go at all times of the day and night. Noises are constant to the point of silence when you walk it's streets. People move through out it's concrete jungle as if they were the only ones in existence. The elements have no true effect with the hot sun, fast winds, pouring rain and freezing snow it does not matter what the walker, joggers, runners, cyclist, those in wheel chairs, young, old it does not alter the city very much or even at all.

Underground is not much different either. So many people just marching by as if were members of an ant colony on it's way to gather nourishment for their queen, the one who gives it, right, back, eventually. The noises do change from time to time, makes it even more interesting and annoying as well, well maybe that is just to me. It's bright and has a certain scent I don't think anyone can just be replicated also not sure if it's good or bad but it is unique.

Freely admiring the sights around one is hypnotised by the amounts of images. The mind just captures it all and in one small instant everyone and everything looks the same. Continue the journey at the pace of the beating heart and you become one of the ants.

No longer an individual the focus is moving along, getting to where it is you need to be and try not to look or hear anything around you in order to get there on time and then it happens, out of no where something starts to capture your attention. Just out of the blue a sound, an image seduces your eyes. You don't want to even divert your focus but the allure is just too strong.

For a second you don't quiet realise what it is you are witnessing as it gets your attention and you keep on moving. In slow motion you think a million things while your eyes gather the information shot through them so they can invade your brain. Traveling at the speed of light it covers your mind then takes an express shuttle to your heart. A double take is done to ensure that you have just seen what you think you did but the walking continues and by the time you can say damn it, a million more things come to mind and you don't know what to do, and if you should even do anything at all and as you think you should someone beats you to the punch, at that moment every person around you slows down to the point of almost stopping, doing the exact same thing you yourself went through just a moment ago.

Perhaps not the same thing goes through their body but I'd say pretty close, or so I think, no clue. Rewind... walking in Grand Central Station, packed as high as it could possibly be with people, animals, luggage, even random pieces of furniture, I looked around but became very much one of the herd. Tired, hungry, in pain, having a nicotine withdrawal, favourite knee high socks, pink and black stripes, broken hmph, back throbbing, trying to keep up with my faster than a cat crossing the street brother in heels, thirsty and just wanting to be home, even if it was a mess, just be home, so caught up in my own world, thinking how hard I have it and how miserable I am at that very moment, bam! it happened.

This tambourine was becoming increasingly loud. The rhythm was well not there but there was something about it that caught my attention, it was being played by a baby in a stroller. At first I thought "huh look at the baby aw just banging away and having fun" and kept walking, all of a sudden I hear a woman singing, not very well at all actually, it was sorta well it sucked and I kept walking thinking "aww look that mom is singing to her child" but then I thought, "wow that is pretty um loud for the baby ain't it?" and when I passed them I realised that I just witnessed something completely not expected.

The woman looked so, so very tired, tired of so many things but just exhausted. The baby looked healthy and happy, smiling and laughing, sweet and full of life. As I go to tell my brother something about this woman I realise he is no longer in sight so I stop and look around and I find him, giving the last bit of money we have to get home to this woman and her child.

Silence, and complete stillness surrounds my circle and I look down. Here I am walking, complaining, thinking to myself I wish to be some place else and here stands a woman who was dressed well, as if coming from a job interview, with a news paper on the floor and a smiling happy shiny child but she has dark circles under her eyes, she can't sing, holding a cup in one hand, in the middle of this chaotic rat maze not robbing anyone, not harassing anyone, not blatantly asking for anyone's help, although it is obvious help is desperately needed, she just stands there singing her little heart out in order to feed her flesh and blood.

Selfish and sad is the feeling that takes over. No longer is my pain running through my mind and body, no longer are my pathetic needs feeling urgency. Hunger, worry, feelings inside of me that were there just moments ago dissipate, wishing to be rich, rich in so many things like intelligence and with loads and loads of money in order to be able to reach out to that woman and her child, hug them and tell them it will all be ok is what now burns inside of me, but there is not a damn thing I did or could do so I continue to march to the beat of the screaming silence of the great big city of New York.

No comments:

Post a Comment