Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Well that was a very short time for happiness, no more happy dance.

Well a very long and complicated story but in the end I am no longer able to go to Puerto Rico :(

I am sad and disappointed but I am not going to go with the predictable and very annoying what's meant to be thing cause seriously it's annoying.

Ever wish you had super powers? I sure do, man to have super powers would be awesome but I am just a mere human and wishing doesn't get me far so yeah, eh I'm just talking nonsense cause I'm still upset.

I was so looking forward to the view, the tranquility, the scents of the Island flowers, the music, the people, :sobs: the food!!!!!!!!

I wanted to lay on the beach and listen to sound of the waves.

I wanted to get in a car and drive and drive and not know where to stop and stop and get out, walk and see what the town has to offer.

I wanted to watch a sunset and wait to see the blanket of stars above me.

I wanted to hug my family.

I wanted to hug my friends.

I wanted to kiss and play with my nieces and nephews and the kids of my friends whom I love like nieces and nephews.

I wanted to stay all night making jokes and laughing so hard my gut hurt.

I wanted to be free for a little while, just free.

So thanks a lot, to the person who has made this go down the drain, I will remember this, I have forgiven tons and when I say tons I mean it but this time I may or may not forgive you but I will certainly never forget.

My heart hurts right now but it will heal, at least I had the fantasy in my mind and in my heart, felt very happy for a while.

But just to be even more nostalgic a video...

Puerto Rico

:sigh:

Love,
Lola

Come dance with me, come on!!! do a little dance with me!

Well, well cool news! I am going to Puerto Rico!
(You can dance now)

Alone! me, myself and freaking I!!!! That is right a mommy vacation, for me!

Oh I am really excited! I am thrilled, can you tell? CAUSE I AM!what does this mean? me and my new camera get to venture on a beautiful island. Looking at all the wonders of what the Island has to offer and the truth about how it being left behind. The people in PR are so full of life and yet they have to work so hard to have what little they have.

Puerto Rico is my favorite place in the world. It has my family, my friends and so many other things that I just get so nostalgic over almost all the time. The food, oh sweet drooling mouth, the food!

So I am supper excited! Let me share a few pictures from my last trip.

enginere

IMG_3600

flagre



img_0146re


purple lilire


img_0175re



I have a lot of pics but not gonna post them all. I would love to do a series on homeless animals but I will need tissue and supplies because I know my heart will hurt when I see all these poor creatures in the streets.

Anyway I hope you are well.

Love,
Lola

Thursday, February 19, 2009

I don't know him but I am thinking about him

New York City is a great place. It has everything you can imagen and busy as a bee hive. It has every race you can imagen, the diversity is astounding and the way it keeps on going day or night is pretty cool, well that is unless you live near a big neon sign that keeps blinking through your window.

The city has so much to offer when it comes to land marks. You could go to any place and eat any type of food. If you want entertainment it's the place to be, you can catch a comedy show, a play, go to a museum, an art gallery, a charity event, you could pretty much find anything you want and like.

It really is a great place but if you look at all the happy faces walking around, shopping and having a good time you will still be able to find faces of hopelessness. Faces of despair and sadness. You will find humans starving and sleeping in the hard, cold floor who have lost every glimpse of hope in what life has to offer.

You will find children, teens, adults and elderly people who have no place to call home, who have anything to eat, clean clothes, basic necessities to survive. Things we all at one time or another take for granted. Things we see as normal or even unimportant but would mean the world to one of the people who have to day in and day out deal live with or I guess live with out because of so many reasons. To top it off, there are people who have set in their minds that many of the people who are in this situation asked for it. Who think that with just a snap of a finger the homeless can just get out of their situation just like that and have little or no sympathy for those who are wondering in the streets.

Mental illness isn't even a consideration any more. Loss of a job and addiction to substances that rot your mind are seen as oh well too bad they asked for it, compassion is just not there any more. The lack of understanding that it can truly happen to anyone is seen as a myth or something that is only in the past but with the economy not looking any better is it really that impossible to envision that it CAN happen to anyone? I don't believe so.

As I was having a good time and looking at things I could never afford in store windows like Louis Vuitton and so on I noticed a pile of clothes on the floor next to a building. A building that had pretty windows with pictures of animals and jewelry, and where the pile of clothes were I saw a heating vent. It was 20 something degrees and I had on plenty of clothes, gloves and warm shoes and I was cold! As I kept walking I noticed that it wasn't just a pile of clothes that someone had dropped but it was someones living space. A person laying on the ground, in freezing weather trying to keep warm next to the building's heating vent and then it happened my heart sank.

I was complaining about a stupid blister and here is a person who doesn't even have a home, a bed, a pillow, something warm to eat or drink, if this person got hurt no one to help them, no money to buy medicine, nothing. I didn't have much at the time, but I felt I had to do something. So I began to walk to find a place that had food and then it got worst, I walked by a church on the same street and there were 10 more people, putting cardboard up, huddling together to stay warm, laying on the steps of the church, if I felt sad with just one person imagen how I felt when I saw a a group.

My husband looked at me like I was insane, I think cause he knew that I HAD to do something, I didn't know what but something.

I saw a cop car and I asked the police men about shelters and they said that "the shelters were absolutely full". I then asked if they were going to tell the people to move? and they said "no" that they were "safe" there because it's a church and the law protects them, but that there are people who want to change that law and the officer strongly disagrees with them wanting to change it. I too agree with the officer.

I then asked the officer of there was a place to get coffee or tea or soemthing and he told me about a bakery around the area, but looked at me like I just asked if he could get me the moon. I said "thank you" and asked my husband to follow me. He too looked at me like I was insane.

Once we got to the bakery I asked for a lot of hot teas, the clerk joking asked "are they all for you?" and I responded no. He then asked me "who they were for?" and I told him "it's for the people at the church" at that point the clerk made the crucifix sign and said "oh I have to start going to church" I smiled and he asked "do you go to church often?" at that point I told him "I don't go to church at all, I don't believe in God" his eyes got so wide and then he asked me "well what do you believe then? and wait if it's not for the people in the church, who is this for? are you getting this for the homeless people that sleep there?" I answered "I believe in the kindness of those who have good hearts and yes it is for the homeless people in the street" the clerk began to laugh. He laughed and I asked him "why are you laughing?" he then composed himself and said "I have never had anyone come here and buy things for those people, and you don't even believe in God and I just, it's just funny" I smiled and he then said "I guess maybe if more people believed in what you do this world would be a better place, maybe I should start believing in what you believe too".

After all paid and done off we went. When we were approaching the church I noticed a big bus, the words homelessbus.org, I beleive, were printed on the side. I saw some of the homeless go to the bus and I though maybe they were going to be picked up to be taken to a shelter but the bus was delivering food. I asked a young man if he was with the organization and he said no and this other man said "I am" I explained that I didn't have much but I got some hot tea for all. At that point the man shook my hand and asked me if I wanted to give them out with him but I declined, I knew that if I did I would no longer be able to hold back my tears. He thanked me a few times and I mentioned that there was a person not at the church steps but on the side of a building and he said he would go get him.

We shook hands once more and off we went. Before we left I did have pass the area where the one man was sleeping and took a picture, this will stay with me for a very long time and I hope he was able to get some warmth and something to eat.

I wish I could of done more, I wish poverty did not exist. I wish so many things but wishing is not a realistic thing to do, but actual action is. I know I won't be able to help everyone in the world, I am only human you know but perhaps some day I will be able to do much more for my fellow human.

I hope you are well mister. I hope all of you in the streets are well. I will have you in my heart for as long as I live.

man


Love,
Lola

Monday, February 16, 2009

A rant about the new shopping carts, made with children in mind or was it?

Oh my, I am really ticked off so let me be as nice as possible to the store but, hmm let me think nope can't be nice.

Dear Kmart

My body hurts! my back is in pain, my arms hurt, my foot got ran over by your STUPID freaking carts that doesn't' sit kids over the age of 6 but yet the 6 yr old MUST sit in the freaking cart because the 3 year old is sitting in it and why? because you decided to have these massive behemoth of a damn "up to tech" carts with a tv and bruhaha that doesn't even work.

So now I don't have to argue with a kid about not touching an isle item alone, no, no, no I have to keep saying "stop" about a million times because they don't fit and now they are screaming, fighting and the damn thing ain't working, so my shopping experience went from the typical "put that down and don't touch that" to 2 kids screaming "I WANT TO GET IT!!!!" add "STOP I CAN'T MOVE!" to "MOM IT ISN'T WORKING!" to "GET OFF MY FOOT!" to pushing this gigantic piece of metal with extra weight just to avoid the screaming of kids and the looks of people as if they have never seen a kid have a tantrum in the middle of the damn store.

So thank you, thank you for this wonderful experience, thank you for my back pain, for my head ache, for my pissed to the max mood and to top it all off you can't take the damn carts out to the parking lot cause your precious carts must remain inside so I had to carry heavy bags to the car while arguing with the 6 yr old to hold the 3yr old hand because I couldn't.

Yes you made my life and shopping experience so much easier. :massive sarcasm:

A very grumpy,
Lola


So as you can see my day was pretty much ohhhhh not a good one. ugh whoever said being a mom was easy lied, lied terribly!


I wanted to be all happy about my post but blah so I'll just post a picture of what I did on Saturday :)

Me in NYC on Valentines Day

Hope your Vday was filled with love and friendship.

Lots of love,
Lola

Friday, February 13, 2009

Why how nice of you to ask

Hola ;)

Lets see, how am I? :taps fingers on desk: I am tired, but much better than before. I am in a dreaming mood, the kind of dream that makes you wish you wouldn't wake up and get upset when the alarm clock goes off.

My children are fast asleep and I am lonely but it gives me time to come here and type p how I am and how I feel. Well not how I feel really cause that would take ages but I felt the need of sharing some pictures.

Not many but just a few...

chimp

I am very in love with this picture because I got it even though this beautiful creature was behind thick glass. So serene and calm, just basking in the sun and embracing the rays.


zebra

Did you know that zebras are not black and white but actually brown and white? Well it's pretty cool, I didn't know that till I was told by the tour guide, then again I didn't double check but I trust her :D


turtle

This cute little one is an Albino turtle. You can visit this lovely creature in Sarasota Florida.
Mote Marine

dols

This gorgeous little one is actually my moms doggy, Dolly. She is cute, sweet but boy does she have tons of energy!

Ok so not too exciting but still! Something is something. Although one odd thing happened, I am fostering a kitty and some how she got out of the crate :( I have looked every place possible but I can't find her :sigh: I just hope she's ok.

Well I am really tired, so I am off to bed, hope you all are doing well.

Happy Valentines day!!! Hope it's filled with love and wonders ;)

Love,
Lola

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

BLAH

Well the so called dilemma has been solved, I will see my friend another time, the one in the basket ball thing. Still planing on going to Philly so that's cool.

Now to sum up my week so far, the kids-getting on my nerves. The pets-getting on my nerves. The house- getting on my nerves. Me-getting on my nerves, I think a lot has to do with the smoking thing, I haven't been able to have a full day with out a smoke but no more than 4 a day, from 20 I think that's pretty good, my health has been wonky, odd pain here and there, and dizzy and so on, I think my cold never went away completely.

Ever feel like crawling in to bed and just sleeping for days? oh I am so exhausted, for no reason! and no, I am not pregnant, it would be impossible, and no don't do the whole "miracles can happen" cause just trust me, no possible freaking way I am pregnant. Just believe me.

What else is new? I did trap a kitty, very cute, gray and small but very scared little fella. My neighbor calls it Macy, kinda weird cause one of the fosters I had who was very ill and had a feeding tube in her throat was gray and her name was Grayce, Macy- Grayce, eh guess you have to be there kinda moment.

I am feeling a bit jilted I suppose, but at least the weather has been fantastic! Nice, not cold, not hot, just right. Reminded me of Holland, well I have to get back to motherly duties woo hoo but I will come back later, maybe.

Lots of love,
Lola

Monday, February 9, 2009

Decisions & more Decisions

Ok so like I previously had stated I lead a pretty boring life, I guess you can call it boring, I mean the kids keep me on my toes and the pets do to but other than that not much happens, that is until this weekend.

And nope not what you think, I wish, but nothing romantic will be happening, my husband kinda isn't good with romantic stuff, last year he forgot it was Valentines day, and even though it's just another day, would of been nice to at least say Happy Valentines Day. So I don't expect much from him anyway for this year so I am making plans for me!

Here is the dilemma, I have a friend who plays in a basket ball team and he will be playing this coming Friday in NYC, I have not seen him in so long I would love to take the kids to see him, but this would mean me, 2 kids, and NYC but I bet I can ask my brother to come and he would be more than willing to coming with. Then Saturday a friend of mine, ok so I have never met her in person but I consider her a friend, is flying from Cali to PA and I want to meet her! It's not like it's going to happen again any time soon or who knows when!

So here is the issue I never do anything alone really, and when I mentioned this to my husband he was all "does it have to be this weekend?" well lets see, umm yes, and it's not cause it's Valentines day and he's planning something, oh nooooo it's cause his boss is getting a new car and his bosses old car goes to him now, company car, so he has to drive all the way to another state, stay the night on Friday and come back on Saturday.

So I don't know what to do.

Seems silly to be the age I am and think I am a kid!

Add to that a pain I have on my side and not smoking, I am one grumpy person right NOW!

That is all.
Lola

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Still feeling under the weather but much better

I had to leave early the adoption day but we had a good day a few got homes and that is always exciting!

Today is going to be a good day I think, the weather is fantastic and my doggy needs a bath so perfect day. Also my baby is finally getting bigger, he used the potty today!! wooo hooo!!! as parents you know what I mean :)

Ok so I took a break from typing to actually bathe my wimpy dog, you'd think that he would like water but NO! hates it! and because he is so small (sarcasm inserted) it makes it so much easier for me to do it. At least now he smells pretty and doesn't look all dingy. The bathing isn't the worst of it, he hates the blow dryer even more, oh the torture, now he may hate me but the house and my nose thank me ;)

So what else is new? not much actually, I really do lead a very boring life but I have a few pictures to share...

leafandsnow



kittyhomelss


treeandsnow



treepiece


On a totally fluffy note I had no idea Christian Bale was British, oh where have I been?! I would love to go to the movies and see Coraline but not today, it would be too much cause the kids are on some sort of extra hyper mode! The house is a bit of a disaster, and I feel like crawling in to bed but I can't, ugh.

Cool thing is that a Spongebob marathon is on and I love that yellow sponge, he cracks me up! I can actually do Patrick's voice, not something to be proud of but still the kids get a kick out of it. I can do a few toon voices, not great but pretty close.

Oh well I guess I should see what the little monkeys are up to, but mommy needs a nap so bad and can't take one :( I hope your day is going fabulous!

Lots of love,
Lola

Friday, February 6, 2009

AHHHHCHO! :sniff:

Oy stupid winter and it's inevitable weather changes has given me a cold. I hate colds, I don't think I know anyone who likes them but I hate them cause no matter what you do they have to run a course, and it's usually not a short one.

Anyway I have some cuteness to share, a cute puppy I saw and took a picture of, that cheers me up.

puppy


I also have a picture of my silly dog and sis snow loving crazy self.

richroo


I will be taking a few pictures of my little out door adventure cause no way in hell am I cooking and so on and it is much nicer than yesterday so I am going to get the kids all bundled up and have them burn energy while we wait for the pizza.

I hope my husband comes home early today cause I am looking forward to tomorrow, it's adoption day so if I get some rest tonight and so on I can probably feel better enough that I won't be a zombie tomorrow. Tomorrow's theme is love so we are all going to wear red, will match well with the breaking out of my face, I'm 29 wth is up with pimples? but so is life I guess.

On a really good note I am getting a massage on Sunday!


I am super excited about that, I have been needing one since well who doesn't need a massage almost every night?

Ok the kids are almost ready, I am loving the growing up of the kids where I can get them to dress themselves, I can't wait till they are 18!! oh but I mean that in a good way, I love them but oh I would love them more if they grew up faster ;)

Alright! we are ready!! woo hoo!

I'll see you later :)

Love,
Lola

Thursday, February 5, 2009

AMOR, Love, Dragoste, Sayang, Amore, Liefde, no matter in what language it's the language of the heart

Well people do you know what holiday is just around the corner? and yes not everyone celebrates the "Hallmark" holiday but it is a nice day of friendship and love.

Every valentines day I could I would buy roses and carnations, lots of them and give one to each of my friends and people I was fond of. I wish I could do that every valentines day but sadly I can't.

Any way, because love comes in many different ways, shapes and forms, love for a parent, for a sibling, for a friend, for a child, for your spouse, etc, etc, I am making a list of romantic song you can sink back and say "that is how I feel"

I fixed the links of the previous song list I made and now the video will work for you and I shall also be putting a link for these, so enjoy :)


  • White Flag - Dido video

  • Always - Jon Bon Jovi video

  • When I Fall In Love - Celine Dion video

  • Open Arms - Journey video

  • You're The First, The Last, My Everything - Barry White video

  • Your Song - Elton John video

  • Unchained Melody - The Righteous Brothers video

  • By Your Side - Sade video

  • You Are So Beautiful - Joe Cocker video

  • Unforgettable - Natalie Cole f/ Nat King Cole video

  • Amazed - Lonestar video

  • Fever - Peggy Lee video

  • All Around Me - Flyleaf video

  • My Immortal - Evenescence video

  • February song - josh Groban video

  • From This Moment On - Shania Twain video

  • I Believe In You And Me - Whitney Houston video

  • Rush, Rush - Paula Abdul video

  • You Mean The World To Me -Toni Braxton video

  • Thank You - Dido video

  • Ice Cream- Sarah McLachlan video

  • Yesterday - Beatles video

  • Beautiful in My Eyes - Joshua Kadison video

  • Endless Love - Lionel Richie and Diana Ross video

  • She's Got a Way - Billy Joel video

  • Make You Feel My Love - Adele video

  • Gravity - Sara Bareilles video

  • The Sweetest Gift - Sade video

  • LoveBug - Jonas Brothers video

  • I'm Yours - Jason Mraz video

  • Use Somebody - Kings Of Leon video

  • All Or Nothing - Theory Of A Deadman video

  • I'm Missing You - Meja video

  • I'm Your Man - Michel Buble video

  • No Me Doy Por Vencido - Luis Fonsi video

  • Juro que te amo - David Bisbal video




I hope you enjoy them.

Just because love is the topic... let me know of songs you love so I can place on the list if you want :D
and for the heck of it
julian and Elijah hug


With lots of love,
Lola