Capturing Beyond The Lense

Spring has finally allowed itself to be shown.

2011-04-27T05:06:00.001-07:00

Seriously took so long to get here and now things are blooming, bugs are buggin and kids are happy to be able to be outside and bask in the sunny goodness. Wish I had as much energy as the kids did though cause ufff I am on empty! So here a few purty flowers.

I had a sweet kitty with 4 itty bitty babies for a few days and you have got to see this gorgeous creature!

I am in need of help or not

2011-02-25T12:53:00.000-08:00

I have become a tad more expressive about one of my very oh so impossible dreams lets say. I try not to gush or express my adoration towards celebrities but I can deny it no longer! I am enamored with Robert Downey Jr. There I said it!

The man has got something that just makes me go stupid! I have met a few celebrities in my life, all very nice, well all but one! But if I were to ever meet Robert Downey Jr I believe I will behave like a 13 year old girl meeting Justin Beiber! Or however the heck you spell it.

Not only has the man made a superb come back in his movies but it seems he is on the right track in his personal life, though some of that bad boy part draws me to him as well. The man is just gorgeous, this gorgeous creature that makes me weak damn it!

I hope he knows how loved and adored he is. I also hope he does more movies ASAP! And if there is a chance in the world I could do a photo-shoot with anyone on this planet, it would be him, yes I may jump him *kidding* but it would be a privilege and a dream come true to take his pictures.

*Sigh* He makes me smile and think naughty thoughts! Win-WIN!

MIA

2011-02-21T12:08:00.000-08:00

Life is seriously a difficult jigsaw puzzle but a few pictures have been taken. Not my best work but hey it's something.

I hate

2011-01-13T14:51:00.000-08:00

I hate winter, I hate it so much.

I hate this state!

I hate that my mom is far.

I hate cleaning.

I hate grumpy old men.

I hate that I have no one to go hang out with when I feel like it.

I hate having so much crap in the house and no way of getting rid of it.

I hate laundry, where the hell is the damn The Jetsons Rosie feature that I can have and afford?

I hate having to poop after taking a shower.

I hate traffic.

I hate people who spit when they talk.

I hate not being able to sleep as long as I want.

I hate cooking.

I hate listening to people who have so much they have to rub it in your face over and over and
over, ok I get it you have it all now go some place else and talk to someone who gives a shit.

I hate people who have no talent and yet they make money off of it.

I hate head aches.

I hate having glasses.

I hate when I finally go to sleep and I have to get up to pee.

I hate screaming children.

I hate decorating.

I hate taking decorations down.

I hate that people decide to call when I can't talk and don't stop with the calling.

I hate nosy people.

I hate hitting my toe in the dark, jumping up and then falling on my ass while I hit my head on a piece of furniture and no one hears it or helps.

I when I have almost everything for something I need but one thing and no where to get it.

I hate cat puke.

I hate having to fart in a public place.

I hate eating and getting something stuck in my teeth and I can't get it out.

I hate pushy sales people.

I hate BO.

I hate allergies.

I hate wanting to go see a movie in the theaters and when I finally get a chance to go see it
it's gone.

I hate mint chocolate.

I hate not finding things when I need them.

I hate pimples.

I hate being asked "what are you doing?" when it is obvious.

I hate big cars in front of me who drive slower than a snail on weed.

I hate eye buggers.

I hate not being able to fly.

I hate dark circles under the eyes.

I hate so much I could go on but I just hate a lot of things at the moment.

HATE!

Well, well, well.

2010-10-29T06:35:00.000-07:00

Lets see if this is therapeutic. Hello blog, haven't seen you in months.

A lot of things have happened since I last posted, honestly most of it is just unimportant but a few things have changed the way I view people. Oh people, you no longer surprise me.

I have been burnt and no longer expect the good from people, I rather feel this way because if I keep going by how I have always been, another someone will just come along and disappoint me eventually so if I don't get my hopes up then I am protected.

Enough about that! One of my sisters got married, that's cool. The kids are getting bigger and smarter. Cats have gotten homes and that's pretty much it.

Ok then, might as well post pictures, haven't even done much photography either, what for? but here is what I got. Enjoy.

Well hope you liked, if not wouldn't surprise me. I have a major head ache and I need to lay down for a bit. I will have to come back to add more things but not now. Ciao!

I

2010-04-20T20:10:00.000-07:00

I don't take disappointment very well. I truly feel the pain of those I care about and at many times even those I know not much about, even if it's only something told and seen in the public eye, I still feel their pain. I have moments I forget I am an adult and behave in the most natural way my mind, body and heart desire, kind of a small moment of freedom if you will. I seldom stop those moments in front of other adults, some find it fun perhaps quirky, lots find it annoying, those who find it annoying don't know all of who I am. I day dream often, most of the time it inspires me, sometimes it makes me reminiscent of the things I was and things I will never be.

I like to compliment strangers, it could be on anything small like a hair clip they have on to something I find beautiful like their eyes. I sing in the shower, pretty good actually or so my audience believes, you know shampoos, conditioners and other shower regulars. I hate monotony. I rarely hold grudges, of course I get hurt plenty of times but I don't really hold on to those moments unless they are something major in which forgiveness and forgetting is not possible. I hate two people in this world with every single fiber of my being, can't say I will be unhappy when they die. I have never had a difficult time speaking to people, I like speaking to people although as I age I find it hard to hide my disapproval when it comes to something I am passionate about and those who are indifferent or against it become very undesirable and unworthy of my time.

I love animals, animals are my passion, they make me feel alive. I love how they look, how they behave, how they do what they do because they must to survive and I love lending a helping hand to those with out a voice. I love food, glorious, delicious food. I am not sure what I have that attracts teenagers to me and while yes it's a bit frustrating to me at times because I want to grab them and smash their heads in for a second so they see that life gets harder and they should enjoy their youth, I still enjoy their company and how they trust me.

I have a fear of making new friends, only because I don't want to lose them. I miss a lot of people who have touched my life. I am not a morning person, at all. I will not greet you with a happy go lucky sunshine filled new day, unless I have had a good night of sleep and that rarely happens but I am not a raging maniac either, just get me coffee and a smoke and I will tolerate anything. I am addicted to nicotine although I am very aware of the harm it causes. I hate them so much but I still love them, guess that is an ironic situation but that's how it is. I love shoes, heels to be exact, and if I could wear heels all day with out my feet killing me I would, why? Because I love them. I don't like the color green even if it's all over the place and it is the color of money, if it were up to me money would be blue or purple.

I really enjoy musicals, I wish one day to just go some place and start to sing a song and have everyone around join in, like that Coke commercial, that would be awesome. I can do some cartoon voices and accents but I only do it in front of my children, they get a kick out of it and one of them is really good at it as well. I hate cleaning, ohhhh how I hate cleaning, dishes especially get to me every single time and laundry curse you laundry! I do enjoy a nice clean home though. I can't bake for the life of me, not sure why but I just can't do it, maybe it's a good thing since I love food so much. I have conflicting feelings of my physical appearance, most of the time I have low self esteem. I view myself as this creature who had two beautiful children and am very lucky to be alive and not completely well but I have a lot of good things. I wish I could make people see the beauty I see in them and yet when I look in a mirror I well I don't really enjoy what I see.

I hate beeping sounds, you know alarms, microwave or stoves, hate them, they aggravate me. I suffer from road rage, people in front of me are complete morons and people behind me are complete maniacs. I can guess age, sex and more from how people drive, no seriously it's very weird but I can guess it. I believe in love most of the time, that beautiful, mind blowing, heart racing, palms sweating, nervous feeling, floating on clouds, puppies, kittens and rainbows kind of love but I avoid becoming too happy because of fear of the pain that it can bring with it.

I am not book smart at all, hell I hate books, well I don't hate them just it is very difficult for me to sit down and grab a book and read. I can't get enough of a good comedy movie or cartoons, I think I like cartoons more than my kids.

I am a very complex person, it takes a very special, strong person to love me because some days I don't even love myself. I enjoy making people laugh. I do not like spiders, them critters I could do with out, just poof gone from the planet and I am good, ok so not all off the planet just not in my house and I won't turn in to this pants grabbing, circle turning, screaming nut job. I still have a hard time believing I am a mother, it is an incredibly exhausting thing to be but wow it's incredible.

I am so much, perhaps too much to ever actually put on paper so I won't even try it, but I am all the things I previously mentioned and much more that perhaps you already know some of it or want to know more of it, or not really want to know at all but it is who and what I am. I am in no way shape or form perfect, nor do I ever think anyone could be cause I sure have never met anyone who is, some pretty damn close but always something that makes one go “ah yes, and there it is” but unless it is something so vile and disturbing that I can't stomach well nothing to worry about.

I am me.

NEW YEAR!

2010-01-11T21:18:00.002-08:00

What a crappy year was 2009! and it's over, OOOOOVEEEEERRRRR! WOO TO THE HOOOOO!

So far 2010 has been good, better keep it that way Mr 2010 you hear?

Lets seem the awesomeness of animals rocks and just gonna share a few sweet faces from Lost Paws that need a home :D

Well I a m super tired and all that jazz but before I go I want to leave you all with love...

I hope this new year brings you pure and absolute joy!

Man I suck at blogs!

2009-12-15T07:44:00.001-08:00

Well lets see, it has been a while since I wrote anything on well anything so I I'll go backwards.

Ranger:

It is still pending, and to top it off the people called me stating that the person in charge is no longer working there so I have to resend all the information. Freaking idiots!

Life:

Well I have been going through a hard time, family issues. Just a bit of advice, if someone in the past has failed you repeatedly, not been in your life for some time and says they have changed, keep your guard up because as much as you would love to think the best at times it just never comes.

Animal Rescue:

Well let me tell you this is pretty awesome! On Sunday the 20th something pretty awesome will happen! look...

Casey is well known for being a well hard ass on the show and all that jazz but he's being a sweet dumpling for the rescue and I can't wait to see him in the costume :D

Photography:

I'll just post pictures now....

Well other than that, not much going on, so hope ya'll well. Hope your Thanksgiving was awesome!

From my family to yours... Happy Holidays!

Unhappy Endding

2009-10-30T06:34:00.000-07:00

On October 9, 2009 at the AMC theater parking lot in Edison NJ, a small crowed gathered around a car. I saw this and asked what was wrong and was told there was a kitten under a car. Well what do you think I did? go away from a frighten cat? NEVER! So after speaking to the rude and in my opinion, plain uncaring animal "control" man *coughs Ed* who did not have a trap, cat food or even a flash light, and told me to "you have to get out of here" I went above his head, no clue who he was messing with.

I looked, didn't see the kitten so I did what I would do, got under the car, in nice clothes and heel. I got my husband to get the jack and after getting the car higher, searching and searching the kitten was above the tire under the lining of some car part I don't know the name of, I reached up and in and got the "ferocious" beast out. It was this tiny little black kitten, so scared and small. I wanted to just bring him home but the man told me I couldn't, by law.

I called the next day to find out when the kitty would be ready for adoption since they Edison Shelter is a kill shelter and I have heard horror stories and was told in 10 days. Not 10 business day cause 2 weeks later the poor guy was still in there.

On October 23, 2009 I finally got the ok to pick him up. All excited and ready to see this little guy I drove there. I was not allowed to get him from his cage but I did get him. He was very vocal in the crate and after signing the papers and giving the $25 donation off we were, but I did complain about the man before I left.

Once home I got him out and he was super thin, I mean really thin, and his fur was so dirty and to top it off was infested with fleas. I gave him a bath, and oh my the amount of dirty and junk that came off of him was incredible! but unlike any normal cat he didn't squirm in the water. I dried him off, and gave him food, but he wasn't eating so I force fed him a bit but something seemed wrong. He was weak and just looked terrible so I rushed him to the ER.

At the ER I was scared and just really in hopes that all would be ok, this kitty was special! I walked in to the room, and I hate that room, that room is where I had to say "Suja is too old and she is in pain" so we had to put her down (ferret) so I already had a bad experience there. The vet came in and explained what was wrong...

His body temperature is so low we can't get a reading. His flea infestation has made him anaemic and we have tried every leg and neck to get blood but we can't get a line. He is in shock, his gums, ears, eyes are so pale, this kitten has no chance of survival. He needs blood transfusions, and even then I honestly do not believe he will make it, I am so sorry.

My heart just sank. I mean it was like someone punched it out, grabbed it, tossed it on the floor and stomped on it. I called my fellow Lost Paws volunteer and asked her opinion, after she spoke to the vet she said "Lola I am so sorry" that meant we had to do what I feared, euthanasia. I cried so much, the vet tech who had told me she is pretty used to things like this also was not well and was a sweet support.

A few minutes later they brought him in wrapped up with hot water bottles. His little head sticking out with these big sad eyes and I told him how sorry I was, kissed him and gave him to the Vet. They gave me a paper with his little paw print and the kitty in a tiny box for the burial. Although it was through Lost Paws I paid out of pocket for this one, like I said before he was very special.

The Edison Shelter is a horrible, disgusting, inhumane , animal death trap! For 14 days this kitten was not cared for, and this is just one! I can't even imagen the rest of the animals in that facility. To have the cojones to give me an animal who was ill, hell to call yourselves an animal rescue is like Dr Kevorkian running a nursing home! I am so disgusted, hurt and sad, it should of not happened this way.

I am going to do everything that is in my power to expose this pathetic excuse of animal shelter. They will pay me back for the adoption fee and the medical bill. I will get justice for Ranger and all of the animals this place has ever mistreated and killed.

Rest in peace Ranger.

You are missed.

How to give a compliment

2009-10-29T10:20:00.000-07:00

Hello my dear friends. I write today with a simple message, compliments.

Compliments are something that everyone enjoys, a good compliment can make a persons day better! It can make a grumpy person feel well, a tad happier and perhaps even make a person nicer, at least for that moment. I happen to give people compliments often, if I happened to think someone is beautiful, or their shirt, hair, eyes, shoes, especially shoes, um anything. I don't care if I know them or not I will say how wonderful I think they are or taste in clothes and so on are, you get the point. I usually get a grin followed by a great heartfelt thank you and the person walks away with their head a lil bit higher and I believe with a lil skip in their step.

Ok so I got the point across that compliments are awesome! and here is the real reason I wanted to write about this, bad compliments, oh for the love of the holy grail people there are good, awesome compliments and then there are things that come out of a persons mouth that makes you wonder if their brain had a momentary spasm when they decided to speak.

I have often found myself in the "WTF" thought after someone, usually a guy who I do not know nor ever would want to, says something so ridiculous, stupid and/or hurtful that makes me want to be able to smack them on their forehead with a stamp that says "I iz dumb dumb"

Examples of moments where this would apply?

* "Hey, you, you a skinny fat girl" now here is the perfect example of why this man is a complete tool and why he is probably single and will be for as long as he keeps opening his mouth. What is a skinny fat girl? well according to a friend a girl who is thin but has a big behind. Why even mention that a person has a big body part as if the person has never known and at that particular moment will go "OMG I have a big ass? no way I never knew!" yeah not gonna happen. If at any moment you find someone attractive or wish to compliment them on their body, "you have a lovely shape" is much better that what that idiot said.

* "You clean up good" uhhh huh. Lets see this one, now this is from someone who has seen you perhaps in a different situation before where you were not really in the best moment of your "dress" up time and feels the need to tell you this but instead of saying "you looked like shit before, now you look decent" isn't a thing one wants to hear, how about "you look very nice" simple and to the point.

* "You would look better with bigger tits" do I even have to explain why this is wrong? apparently so cause why in the world would anyone say this to a person? shit for brains. No! bad, bad! never say that.

* Any time you are approaching a person and you don't know their name, I bet being called words like ma' - mamita- baby - sweetie - boo - princess - or whatever else you can imagen will not get you any where. Didn't know you then, don't want to know you now. If you think of it as being cute or original, no it is played out and if it has worked, you know getting a number or a date it has been pure luck.

* "You look great, but you have a pimple" again stop while you are ahead.

* "The things I would do to you" "SECURITY!"

* "You must taste delicious" once again, "SECURITY!"

I could go on and on, after all I could go in the the whole family part of it too, you know those family members that also have no brains and will say things that make you say "ah yes this is why I moved far, far away" but no, that would be a novel and I have things to do.

The point is, think before you speak, because one day you will get a great big smack across the face. If you want to compliment someone think of them as someone you somewhat care about, by this I mean if it were said to someone you respect or like how would it feel if they got a compliment that makes them do the Scooby Doo question noise? not cool. They are meant to make a person feel better not want to throw boiling water in to your face. So compliment wisely my friend... *insert the little rainbow and cue music* the more you know. :)

Screaming in silence

2009-10-16T20:25:00.001-07:00

In the great big city of Manhattan, New York, people come and people go at all times of the day and night. Noises are constant to the point of silence when you walk it's streets. People move through out it's concrete jungle as if they were the only ones in existence. The elements have no true effect with the hot sun, fast winds, pouring rain and freezing snow it does not matter what the walker, joggers, runners, cyclist, those in wheel chairs, young, old it does not alter the city very much or even at all.

Underground is not much different either. So many people just marching by as if were members of an ant colony on it's way to gather nourishment for their queen, the one who gives it, right, back, eventually. The noises do change from time to time, makes it even more interesting and annoying as well, well maybe that is just to me. It's bright and has a certain scent I don't think anyone can just be replicated also not sure if it's good or bad but it is unique.

Freely admiring the sights around one is hypnotised by the amounts of images. The mind just captures it all and in one small instant everyone and everything looks the same. Continue the journey at the pace of the beating heart and you become one of the ants.

No longer an individual the focus is moving along, getting to where it is you need to be and try not to look or hear anything around you in order to get there on time and then it happens, out of no where something starts to capture your attention. Just out of the blue a sound, an image seduces your eyes. You don't want to even divert your focus but the allure is just too strong.

For a second you don't quiet realise what it is you are witnessing as it gets your attention and you keep on moving. In slow motion you think a million things while your eyes gather the information shot through them so they can invade your brain. Traveling at the speed of light it covers your mind then takes an express shuttle to your heart. A double take is done to ensure that you have just seen what you think you did but the walking continues and by the time you can say damn it, a million more things come to mind and you don't know what to do, and if you should even do anything at all and as you think you should someone beats you to the punch, at that moment every person around you slows down to the point of almost stopping, doing the exact same thing you yourself went through just a moment ago.

Perhaps not the same thing goes through their body but I'd say pretty close, or so I think, no clue. Rewind... walking in Grand Central Station, packed as high as it could possibly be with people, animals, luggage, even random pieces of furniture, I looked around but became very much one of the herd. Tired, hungry, in pain, having a nicotine withdrawal, favourite knee high socks, pink and black stripes, broken hmph, back throbbing, trying to keep up with my faster than a cat crossing the street brother in heels, thirsty and just wanting to be home, even if it was a mess, just be home, so caught up in my own world, thinking how hard I have it and how miserable I am at that very moment, bam! it happened.

This tambourine was becoming increasingly loud. The rhythm was well not there but there was something about it that caught my attention, it was being played by a baby in a stroller. At first I thought "huh look at the baby aw just banging away and having fun" and kept walking, all of a sudden I hear a woman singing, not very well at all actually, it was sorta well it sucked and I kept walking thinking "aww look that mom is singing to her child" but then I thought, "wow that is pretty um loud for the baby ain't it?" and when I passed them I realised that I just witnessed something completely not expected.

The woman looked so, so very tired, tired of so many things but just exhausted. The baby looked healthy and happy, smiling and laughing, sweet and full of life. As I go to tell my brother something about this woman I realise he is no longer in sight so I stop and look around and I find him, giving the last bit of money we have to get home to this woman and her child.

Silence, and complete stillness surrounds my circle and I look down. Here I am walking, complaining, thinking to myself I wish to be some place else and here stands a woman who was dressed well, as if coming from a job interview, with a news paper on the floor and a smiling happy shiny child but she has dark circles under her eyes, she can't sing, holding a cup in one hand, in the middle of this chaotic rat maze not robbing anyone, not harassing anyone, not blatantly asking for anyone's help, although it is obvious help is desperately needed, she just stands there singing her little heart out in order to feed her flesh and blood.

Selfish and sad is the feeling that takes over. No longer is my pain running through my mind and body, no longer are my pathetic needs feeling urgency. Hunger, worry, feelings inside of me that were there just moments ago dissipate, wishing to be rich, rich in so many things like intelligence and with loads and loads of money in order to be able to reach out to that woman and her child, hug them and tell them it will all be ok is what now burns inside of me, but there is not a damn thing I did or could do so I continue to march to the beat of the screaming silence of the great big city of New York.

9/11 Fundraiser

2009-09-26T08:07:00.000-07:00

The Cosa Nostra Ball will be raising funds for various 9/11 related charities. By joining us you'll be helping families and individuals affected by 9/11.

COSA NOSTRA BALL!

Please Repost and help the following charities.

* The FealGood Foundation
a non-profit organization to spread awareness and educate the public about the catastrophic health effects on 9/11 first responders, as well as to provide assistance to relieve these great heroes of the financial burdens placed on them over the last eight years.

* Special Operations Warrior Foundation
The Special OperationsWarrior Foundation provides full scholarship grants and educational and family counseling to the surviving children of special operations personnel who die in operational or training missions and immediate financial assistance to severely wounded special operations personnel and their families.

Thank you!

How many fingers am I holding up?

2009-09-25T04:52:00.000-07:00

If you guessed 1 you are right! My clicking finger :D

Hard to believe some of these are family, them bastards never call, hey SLUG call me!

Well lets see, oh I got a letter from Cher, why are you laughing hysterically? CAts are really smart and fabulous with computers, anyway her letter :)

Hi Mommy Lola...from Cher Bear...
Just wanted to tell you I am being a good little kitty for Mommy Holly and her family!! I am well behaved, using the litter box, eating special bits, not picking on the furniture and getting along well with my new buddy, Joojie!
I snuggle with Mommy Holly at night and sometimes at my naptimes during the afternoon. My new buddy Joojie is very very fluffy...he has a fluffy tail I like to play with...he doesn't mind playing tag with me, but he makes sure he lets me know he is the chief kitty of the family. I like him...and I am trying to snuggle with him...in his kitty condo, which I have taken over...I think a few more days and we will be sharing it! I like to look out the doors and windows here, and I run from one end of the house to the other in the morning...its fun! I purr and do happy paws with Miss Holly the most...although I like all the humans in the house! Mommy Holly has deceided to name me Bella...it means beautiful...
she calls me bella, bella baby, bells, baby bella and peanut!!
Thank you mommy Lola for doing such a good job of raising me up from a itty bitty kitten...I am lucky you found me and took care of me and Mommy Holly is happy she found you and Lost Paws Rescue...
I hope you like the picture of me and Joojie!! I will send you more in a few weeks when I get alittle bigger!!

Love, hugs and purrs,

Bella a.k.a CherBear :)

Ain't that the cutest thing EVA?! I know it is.

In other news, RESCUE INK STARTS TODAY!!!! What is Rescue Ink you ask? The baddest animal lovers out there!

CLICK!!!! SEE WHO THEY ARE.

And their show starts tonight!! *dances*

SHOW DETAIL.

On National Geographic @ 10 PM. Watch it or else! :D

Well, I need coffee and a bed, can't go to bed so I'll have coffee.

MUA!

Cosa Nostra Ball | Halloween 2009 Smash Event!

2009-09-11T05:31:00.000-07:00

Come join the fun and be part of a wonderful cause.

Cosa Nostra ball!!!

Models of the Runway Casting Challenge

2009-09-09T18:05:00.000-07:00

Models of the Runway Casting Challenge

It has always been a silly "uhh I want to be a model!" thing but the height, the weight, the lack of confidence got in the way, but here is a chance and why not right? Can you please vote? :) Thanks.

This is why I do what I do

2009-08-31T19:22:00.000-07:00

Many people do not understand why some people like me take their lives, open their homes, their hearts to a creature that has no idea why or what's going on, can't do your chores or even speak but moments like these are what I feel that what I do is what I am meant to be doing. ( as I gt lil claws coming up my leg ouchy Penelope lol)

On Sunday a woman came to adoption day in hopes to meet Cher, one of my foster babies. AS she held her and go tto know her and we spoke of her personality and what she was looking for, she fell in love, not so hard to do when they are who they are, and after a while the woman began to become ill, and so ill an ambulance was called.

I tried my best to take care of her and tried to keep her as comfortable as I could, the otehr volunteers were also very hands on and I am so proud of you Lyn, Jason and Rachael. Once the ambulance got there and she was on her way of being helped I was still so worried but a while later we got a call that she was getting better and her son informed us that she wanted Cher even after all that. A few hrs later her husband and son came to pick her up and off my foster baby went to her new home. Today I got an email that me realize once more that it is so worth it and I wanted to share it with you...

Hi Lola, Just wanted to give a heartfelt thank you to you for staying
with me when I wasn't feeling well at the adoption. I felt so embarrassed
and scared, but I appreciate you staying close and calling your mother! As
for Cher, she is adjusting pretty well. I introduced her and my persian
Jooj today, and they are checking each other out...She is more like, going
about her business of playing and exploring, and he just keeps her within
eye shot at all times to see what she is about. She has made an attempt to
be friendly to him, but he's not too sure yet. But, they are not fighting
or being hostel toward each other, so that's good! Cher also has busted a
move and decided she needs to check out all the rooms in the house! I
tried to keep her confined to the family room while she and Jooj got
acquainted, but she was too interested in him moving about the house! I put
her back in my son's room for a bit of relax time, (as she is most
comfortable there!), and she immediately sits down on the bed with me and
does all the loving things you mentioned!! She seems to respond to
instructions of "get down" or "NO' if she is somewhere I would prefer her
not to be! I hope in time Jooj and her will be best buddies! I will keep you
informed. Feel free to email me back!
Thanks for your tireless efforts to nurture and nurse this little baby to
health...she is certainly special!

Sincerely, H

I don't care how much trouble I get in with my in laws, I don't care how much I have to clean, I don't care if my heart breaks a little every time they leave my home because I know that when they do a new family will be formed and that my friends is why I love what I do.

7 years ago today

2009-08-13T14:56:00.000-07:00

I had a newborn in my arms.

I was scared, overwhelmed with feelings and aches. This small thing who I had inside of me for nine months was finally out and I wanted him back IN! I could not protect him any more in the way I was but I was happy to see his face. Elijah has not been easy, but he sure is funny, he loves to draw and paint, he loves to help and teach, he loves animals and music, he's a pretty cool kid and today he is SEVEN!

He's excited to be seven, seven to him seems like such a big number and it is, but I still see him as a lil baby, guess that is what parents see their entire life, their babies growing up but always their babies.

When he was just born I was not sure what to do to make him go to sleep at times and I never learned lullabies so one day as I tried to nurse him on the rocking chair, and him screaming his little head off. I did not know what to do so I began to hum and hum and he looked up at me and stopped crying. I thought, great! he likes music but what do I sing? so I made a song up, and this is Elijah's Lullaby...

Go to sleep, my baby go to sleep.
For when you sleep the world is at peace.
Go to sleep and close your eyes.
And you'll dream of angels tonight.

There is more but it's too special to share with the world :)

Happy Birthday my lil pookie, I hope you have hundreds of more birthdays to come. I love you. Oh I still sing him his lullaby ;)

Love,
Lola

In need

2009-08-11T06:48:00.001-07:00

Pondering

2009-07-24T17:05:00.000-07:00

Air travels around us, always, circulating each and every one of us, constantly. Going in, sustaining the flesh, sustaining the organs, supplying what is needed for this, this thing called, life. Out it goes, liberating itself only to be used who knows how many times, by who knows how many of all who roam this earth.

So similar to air are so many of us on this planet. Being used as a form of necessity. Told of our importance, for survival but not of our own. How truly needed are we for the survival of others? How truly needed are we for the happiness of others? Can happiness then ultimately be considered selfish?

We are told how we are loved, how much we enrich a life, how important we are when it comes to making someone happy, we for some reason seem to have so much control in others emotions, and that is making me wonder do we even know what makes us truly happy in the first place? Does the happiness of one depend on the life of another? How can one be giving happiness to others when those who need us to be happy are causing the exact opposite feeling within us?

Are we capable of surviving with out needing people?

Oh how my brain goes insane at times.

Love,
Lola

Long but with good reason

2009-07-23T18:19:00.001-07:00

I have not written in a while, yeah I know but I honestly did not feel like it.

First let me say I am still very sad about Michael Jackson's passing. I was, am and will always be a fan of MJ. Rest in peace sweet prince.

Second, what has been happening? well lots of nothing, nah lots, went to KS city MO to see a friend and it was fun and hard work.

Last weekend was the Garden state Cat Show and boy was that fun. WE raised a lot of money and adopted out 10 kitties! WOO HOO!

Now to the picture portion of my blog ;)

And of course some kitties....

Ok got to go be a mama. Hope you are doing well :)

:D

Love,
Lola

Chicago, chicago that toddling town

2009-06-21T21:07:00.000-07:00

Oh Chicago what a wonderful city. I had never been and I am very glad I did take the trip. The food, the sounds, the people and the sights!

Did I mention the zoo is free? wow! I had a great time :D

Love,
Lola

Farewell to a wonderful friend

2009-06-18T08:33:00.000-07:00

10 years ago a little critter came in to my life. She was cute, adorable and fun! On mother's day she made an entrance to my mothers home because my mom had mentioned she always wanted one and last week it was her time to leave us.

Suja you are very missed, rest in peace little girl.

When my oldest was born and he would cry she would climb to his crib nudge him with her nose, crawl down, come to mom or me and pull on the pants like "hey that thing is sad, help it" she was just wonderful. You will forever be in our hearts.

Love,
Lola

Flutter away

2009-06-10T05:40:00.000-07:00

Soft, whimsical, gentle and serene, I lose myself at times glaring at the beauty of a small creature that, you know what it is really hard to find beauty and get inspired when a 3 yr old is being a total pain. AS much as I love my 3 yr old I can't WAIT for him to grow up and yeah "ohhh wait til he grows you will want him to be little again" NO! I am pretty sure I do not! I am not going to miss any of his stellar moments of brattiness and just plain stubborn self.

I wish I were more patience but I concluded that it is not the patience that needs to just be part of this, no this kid needs to grow up and understand things. I too and we all were children at one point and I have no clue how the people who cared for me did not lose their minds because if I was .5 % of what my kid is then well I have to start sending flowers to all of those who took care of me.

It does not help that I have been ill, stupid cold, gah I hate colds! I hate colds when husband is away even more! I have the kids, the animals and more but at least one good thing is it's my older ones last day of school, and while most parents go "WHY?" I go woooo to the freaking HOO!!! Oh I can't stand that damn school! next semester he goes to another one and I am happy about that.

Oh maybe I have ranted my anger away, let me see :deep breath in and out: aw yes, it's all good now so here is the picture I was going to talk about...

I hope your day is better than mine :)
Lola

Confessions of an animal lover

2009-06-09T09:58:00.000-07:00

I never thought it would be part of who I am so much but it is, loving animals, helping them and making a connection between the animal world and the human world.
Let me tell you what happened while I was in Miami Florida. Yeah I took a lil trip to the south and it was my first time. I did not know the weather was not going to be sunshine all the time so that was disappointing but it was still a magical trip.

Not only did I get to meet up with two friends while down there and a whole lot of stuff that well will remain with me for the rest of my life but something I was not expecting happened and yet it was not a total surprise for me.

On one of the days where the sunshine said peek a boo I decided to go for a walk on the boardwalk. I took some pictures and saw there was a black kitty at the beach, in the sand chasing something. So as I went down for a closer shot this black kitty instead of running away from me, came right to me.

So I began to pet her and play with her and wow was she friendly. I thought she belonged to someone on the boardwalk but this family that was close mentioned how they have seen her before. SO I strike up a conversation with the family and say "take her home then" they say, in stereo "we're form Jersey!" I laugh and say "so am I"

After a bit of talking, I head off to the nearest store to get cat food and a box. See the mom was in love with the kitty and she was going to take her home, but it was their last day on vacation cause the next day off to Jersey. SO what do I propose? she needs a vet, she needs food, she needs to be held in the hotel. A duffel bag later, me coughing like a maniac through the hotel lobby so they don't hear this kitty meow, in she goes. She does well, and I am feeling a bit nervous about all of it but heck already deep in the situation so I go with it.

The next day kitty in bag again, and I hail a cab to meet with the woman ,she hands me money and off I go to the vet. 5 hrs of checking for things, she does not have a micro chip, has fleas and a slur of otehr things, she gets her vaccines and I make calls to the airline. 6 hrs later, miss Lola (named after me) meets up with her new family and is off on a plane to NJ.

So having to go down 8 flights of stairs, waiting hours ina the vet, and not eating all day was totally worth it!

Here is Lola...

I hope she is happy and full of joy. I know the family absolutely loves her and will give her all the love and care she deserves. SO to many years of joy for all involved!

Love,
Lola

Well here it is

2009-06-02T16:55:00.001-07:00

These are a few faces I have seen and wanted to just hold and give a good home to to but I could not. I hope this little video makes a difference somehow.

Please view, enjoy and tell me what you think.

My passion
What else can be said about my passion that I have not already said.

Love,
Lola

Well how do you do?

2009-05-28T06:55:00.000-07:00

Hello blog, I have neglected you for a while but I still care, here let me give you a hug (HUG)

So what's new in my world? Apparently I like melba toast. The animals are all well, the kids are well, I am well, hubby well and well is well. My photography is getting a new vision but I can't tell yet but you will see.

Lost Paws is getting stronger and better, although we have lost a few kitties that I loved, Diego my beautiful boy I miss you and I hope you are free, I miss him and I bet the family that had adopted him misses him very much also.

Uh my mom has a facebook account! I set her up but will have to teach her how to do all cause she's not comp savvy.

I took care of my neighbours doggy last weekend and the dog is a nut! lol and he hurt my leg but I
still like him.

What else is there to say? not much but MUA!

TTYL hope all are well.

Love,
Lola

Get wrapped up inside what you feel

2009-05-16T21:58:00.000-07:00

Tell me what you feel.

This day could use some improvement

2009-05-14T08:23:00.000-07:00

As much as I like awesome good news and happy, happy, joy, joy moments this day sucks! Both kids sick, waking up all hours of the night, lack of sleep, stupid weather! what a week a freaking rain wasn't enough for you? :waves fist at sky: animals who decide to not wait and knock over food bags and have a buffet, my car in the shop for 3 days and its' only going to cost $500 to fix and more grumble, grumble blah things :rolls eyes and takes a deep breath in:

So here are some picture, yeah yada yada yada hope your day is better than mine.

Oh you know what happened yesterday?! well of course not then why the hell am I asking? ok so I was in the back yard with my kiddo, having fun and I hear this weird plane like sound but it was way too close so I looked up and BAM! this black cloud of wasps! :runs around in circles screaming like a little girl: I got the kiddo and ran! It was horrible! but no one was stung, it was really scary. Ok more pictures.

alright apparently I can't add more so see ya.

Oh wait stupid me, figured it out, ok more pics.

Morning

2009-05-06T04:57:00.000-07:00

Morning rises on the pillow slept.
Hours passed in dreamland roads.
Traffic of untold stories get honked by
Bicycles leaping through the sky.
In the clouds of rumors fiddled by
Mouths of red lips kissing lovers to lovers.

Hearts palpitate to the drums in tune.
The rhythms dance in a swirl of jam
Licked and savored with tingling sensations.
The body quivers and shivers by the cold air
Which whistled through the window
By a crack crawled in by ants
Carrying loads of weightless pressure.

Heavy light chirp songs heard
From the birds on their way far
From reality flying through the
Comfort where rest has been lifted.

Sudden abrupt changes welcomed
In celebration of a new fill.
Emptied by hands feeling faces
In a sweet serene slumber
In which all welcome the one and only friend
That leaves until it's welcomed once again.

Shifts happen and dreams are left
Behind the curtains where shadows
Make shapes and imagination leaps
Out the window which welcomes
The morning risen on the pillow slept.

Good morning day.

By Lola

What can be said in this fine rainy morning? well RAIN GO AWAY! It has been 5 days of this weather and while I do appreciate and understand that nature needs water and all that jazz, enough! Even birds seem to not be singing as happily.

What is new in my life you say? well not much. Kids are growing, oh oh my oldest lost his first tooth! :sniff: my baby is growing up!!!!! He is a sweet little dumpling, he wanted to share his tooth fairy money to help his grandma :sigh: what a sweet heart. My youngest can't wait to be big like daddy, me and uncle so he can drink beer! apparently he wants beer lol This one is gonna be trouble.

The animals are well, all looking at me with eyes of FEED ME! but in a minute k. Friends are well, I hope, some have bad things going on and I hope all works out well and I have found out things about some friends that are just pure fantabulistic! Wish I knew this sooner but asi es la vida.

I did a shoot of myself which has many meanings, perhaps way too many, so any interpretation you make is probably correct. So here it is, me.

Well I hope all is fantastic.

Love,
Lola

Well it's been a LONG time but I am back baby

2009-04-27T20:34:00.000-07:00

First of all, I am home, I have been home for a while but not available to write.

The trip was a trip, my family and friends are well, as well as people can be. I miss them every single day :(

I have not done much editing to my pics, and while I don't really edit them I just resize them and sing them.

Just for fun here is something of a glimps of the good parts of PR.

Many Faces I love

Well I am off to bed, in hopes of a goodnight sleep.

Love,
Lola

T minus less than 24 hrs til I go to The Island of Enchantment

2009-04-09T17:37:00.000-07:00

WOO TO THE FREAKING HOOOOOO! Ok I must confess I am a bit nervous, the kids not with me, my husband's survival alone, the pets, oh my the pets, my plants, the plane ride, the camera, ok so I am more nervous than I thought :bites nails: but I am also very excited :)

Anyway I have had a hectic week to say the least, kids not well health wise, the house and blah blah blah but something awesomely cool happened! I got 2 lenses! and a battery back up and a remote for the cam!! :raises the roof: The picture I took of the next subject isn't extraordinary but it was taken with mah new zoom lens so the fact that is important is I was far!!!

So I present to you Meep Meep.

Well I am almost packed, almost, got a few things to do but just, you know how you have to use things before you go? well I am not sure what I will use so yeah, oh it will be fine, I'm going to my fams home and friends and if I need anything they will be all cool to supply :)

So hope things go great for you, I will miss my computer, a lot! (hugs monitor) but I will be fine ;)

So Nos vemos despues! Be good and if not, invite me :big grin!:

Oh and one more thing.

Oh cause I forgot....

Just for you.

Love,
Lola

Pink it's my new obsession

2009-04-05T06:25:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone well lets see, what is new you ask? well my hair :D It is no longer green but now it is PINK! not all of it just the front, and I love it!

Yeah no one is born with it but heck so what?!

What else is new, well the Lost Paws organization is :sigh: still going through a real rough moment. Things are absolutely insane right now and I am leaving soon to my much needed trip to Puerto Rico. I am really excited and nervous, not sure why in the world I am but I am. I am still very excited to see my family, my friends, my Island! I'm going to rent some lenses and do my project of homeless animals in PR. I don't think I will be able to contain my feelings but I will do my best in not breaking down like a baby when I see all of the fur babies starving and ill.

On another note I did a shoot for a friend and not only is she gorgeous but she has a little show online that is really a breath of fresh air. She is on every Wed at 7pm The Powder Room check out her show.

Here are some of the pictures.

The kids? well one is with my mom and the other one is not feeling well but my little monsters are doing much better with me. Parenting is really hard, add difficult kids and a very exhausted mama and well you got a yawn situation followed by hair pulling out moments.

Bad news from Lost Paws is we have lost 4 kitties to FIP, poor babies are no longer in pain but our hearts are still very sad. We are still in need of help and if you know anyone who can please tell them to email Lyn at Lyn's Email Addy

Well the pets here are all well, Rocco is much happier and I gave hm a lil bath and he was so happy! here is my little munchkin.

So what's on the agenda today? packing, cleaning and shopping, I need comfy shoes :D I hope all is well with you and those you love.

Hugs and Kisses,
Lola

Alright so HELP!!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-30T16:04:00.000-07:00

Oh poor blog I have been avoiding you, but not because I want to but be cause I have a lot going on right now and to top it all off one of the volunteers from Lost Paws quit :( This is huge because this person has at least 20 of the kitties in the home and we will have to find foster homes ASAP!!!

It is not something you think will happen, not this way but it did so now the remaining team has to focus on the huge task ahead. So here is the deal, we need people, people who care about cats, who know that the love given by an animal is so dear and near to the hearts of many. Not only has it been very well documented that people who own a pet live longer due to so many medical benefits but the joy that they bring is so immense it lasts forever.

The bond is incredible.

The laughter is inevitable.

The anger is only temporary.

And the love, well it's eternal.

So help is needed. We need homes that can help these homeless, mistreated animals, for a little while until they find forever homes. If you could pass this on to everyone you know that could help, please do so. To contact Lost Paws Animal Rescue please email
lostpawsrescue@embarqmail.com

To find out more about Lost Paws and who we are please visit http://lostpawsrescue.org/

These are some of the beautiful critters that need you.

Thank you!

Love,
Lola

Long time no post

2009-03-20T16:29:00.000-07:00

Well lets see, where to begin? hmmmmm it's SPRING! SPRING IS HERE! or so the calendar says. Shoot I woke up today to find that out side my window there was snow on the ground, Mother Nature did not check her calendar.

At least it wasn't brutally cold but not a nice Springy day.

I mean snow after a pretty day where flowers bloomed is just wrong.

The children have been ill, yipee but I am actually getting better. Not sure still why my joints just decided to go nuts but I feel much better.

My little one is getting better but on a better day he had a great time having fun in the park...

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....

And my older little monkey having fun also....

WOoooo HOOO!

That was a nice day and yet after both ill, no school for the kiddo and a very tired mommy. Other than that, what's new? not much, just same ol same ol.

Hope you are all well.
Love,
Lola

This day just does not end

2009-03-16T16:03:00.000-07:00

MAKE HIM STOP!!!

PLEASE JUST STOP CHILD OF MINE! Stop screaming, stop fighting, stop complaining, stop arguing, stop making a mess, stop it, just stop!!!!!

My sanity is on a very thin line of silk and it is about to break. I can't take this much longer, but I tell myself "soon bath time and bed time" but it does not come fast enough, why does time not go fast enough when things are rough? oh noooo they go slow, just sllllloooooooooooowwwwwwww.

I wish I could freeze time, I wish a lot of things but wishing is for the weak, no amount of wishing causes anything to happen.

Only fools believe in wishes.

I am about to have blood come out of my ears from the high pitched screams these children emit from their mouths, forget quitting smoking, I can't with this, right now I wish I had a carton, just turn all of them on and have one huge drag!

:bangs head on desk:

Give me patience, lots of it!

2009-03-16T05:06:00.000-07:00

It is only 8 am in this home and so far I have had the 3 yr old from HELL!

This child is beyond CRANKY today! and it is driving me nuts. Woke up great, "good morning mommy" and 2 minutes later "AH WANT THIS NOW!" the screaming, the crying, the wanting to run away and that is just me. i really hate mornings in my home, hate them, they are like wanting to find a hay in the needle stack, yes backwards cause it's painful.

The one slow as snails in a slow competition and the other bouncing off the walls. Plus the animals trying to get my attention as if "hey you been asleep too long play with me!" that includes the dog, the 3 cats I have right now and the ferret!

I am but one person! Makes me sing in my head Lenny Kravitz I want to get away :rocks back and forth:

Parenthood is a club that not all the details are given before you are in it, and once you are in it THEN! it is clear of the why, cause if all the details were given uhhh lots of people would think real hard before having kids. I love them, I really do, they just get on that last nerve and just yank and pull and stomp on it until it no longer exist.

SO to calm me down I shall post a picture I took the other day.

I hope you and your loved ones are well and wish me luck this day! I may need lots of breaks to deal with them.

Love,
Lola

Yeah bored and yeah here 100 truths about me.

2009-03-13T20:09:00.000-07:00

FIVE LAST THINGS YOU DID

1. last beverage→Water
2. last phone call→The Pharmacy
3. last text message→ I don't text, why are you laughing
4. last song you listened to→ Somebody to love by Queen
5. last time you cried→ Yesterday.

SIX HAVE YOU EVER:

6. dated someone twice → Um I guess?
7. been cheated on? I don't think so.
8. kissed someone & regretted it? YES!
9. lost someone special?→ Yes.
10. been depressed?→ You can say that.
11. been drunk and threw up? Oh man yeah!

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Black
13. Blue
14. Purple
15. Red

THIS Semester(year) HAVE YOU:

16. Made new friends → Yes.
17. Fallen out of love → Depends, with something? yes.
18. Laughed until you cried → Yes.
19. Met someone who changed you → Yes.
20. Found out who your true friends were → I have always known who my REAL friends are.
21. Found out someone was talking about you→ Yes, but in a good way not bad.
22. Kissed anyone on your friend's list→ Yes.
23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life → A lot!
24. How many kids do you want to have →None, but I have two and it's just right.
25. Do you have any pets →3.
26. Do you want to change your name → Lola is awesome.
27. What did you do for your last birthday → Ate dinner at a nice restaurant.
28. what time did you wake up today → 7:10 am
29. What were you doing at midnight last night → Playing online.
30. Name something you CANNOT wait for → PUERTO RICO!.
31. Last time you saw your father --> My biological father on his death bed many yeast ago. My foster dad last summer.
32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → My health.
33. What are you listening to right now → Venture Brothers.
34. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → I don't think so
35. What's getting on your nerves right now? → My pain.
36. Most visited Facebook, Here,Kitty site, and so many!.

ABOUT YOU

37. Whats your real name → Lola and lets leave it at that.
38. Nicknames→ Lola.
39. Relationship Status → Married.
40. Zodiac sign → Libra.
41. Male or female or transgendered?→Biological female.
42. Elementary? → Lots.
43. Middle School →Intermedia Villa del Carmen, Collegio Ponceno
44. High school →Collegio Ponceno, Ponce High school
45. Hair color → Brown.
46. Long or short → Long I think
47. Height → 5'5
48. Do you have a crush on someone? → Oh YEAH!!!!
49. What do you like about yourself? → Well physically my eyes, how I am? I see good in people.
50. Piercings → Ears.
51. Tattoos → One.

FIRSTS :

52. First surgery → Ectopic pregnancy.
53. First piercing → Ears.
54. First best friends → Angela
55. First sport you joined →Basket ball
56. First pet → Rocky, German Shepard
57. First vacation → I think Disney
58. First concert → Josh Groban!
59. First crush: His name started with A and I was in the 1st grade lol

RIGHT NOW:

60. Eating → nothing, I would like some coconut sorbet though
61. Drinking → Nothing.
62. I'm about to → Finish this.
63. Listening to → Stargate now.
64. Waiting for → My test results.

YOUR FUTURE :

65. Want kids? → Already have!
66. Want to get married? → Already am.
67. Careers in mind? → Photography.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? :

68. Lips or eyes → Eyes
69. Hugs or kisses → Kisses
70. Shorter or taller →Taller
71. Older or Younger → Older
72. Romantic or spontaneous → Spontaneous
73. Nice stomach or nice arms → Arms
74. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive.
75. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.
77. Trouble maker or hesitant--> Hesitant!

HAVE YOU EVER :
78. Kissed a stranger → Yes.
79. Drank hard liquor → Yes.
80. Lost glasses/contacts → YES!
81. Sex on first date → no.
82. Broken someone's heart → Yes. And I am really, really sorry :(
83. Had your own heart broken → Oh yes.
85. Been arrested → No.
86. Turned someone down → Yes.
87. Cried when someone died → No I did a handstand! well yes! I have cried. But one day I will actually dance on a particular persons gave site, don't judge me.
88. Liked a friend that is a girl? → Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

89. Yourself → Sometimes
90. Miracles → Sometimes.
91. Love at first sight → Yes
92. Heaven → No.
93. Santa Clause → The flying one who comes once a year, why he's not real?! WHAT?! Well there was a Santa Claus but he didn't fly, but that would be awesome!
95. Kiss on the first date? → Yes.
96. Angels → No but I like the idea of them.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Of course.
98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → No
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? → Yes

Well that was time killing lol

Ok so still no results on my health but I have a very cute picture of a kitty! Macy is go pretty I must share a little picture I got of her today :)

Other than that? It's official PR here I come! woooo hooo!!!

Hope you are well and come on answer the questions! :D

Love,
Lola

Good news and Bad News

2009-03-12T10:41:00.000-07:00

Life is so full of ups and downs that we are for the most part all used to it, or so I hope but man every once in a while stuff happens that is just jaw dropping and it sucks! The again it can go the other way too.

So lets see, bad news 2 of my friends have lost their fathers and they are both too far for me to console them and be there for them and I have no $ to help them out but it sucks that I can't be there with them physically. I know they have people who care for them very much so that helps but I wish the strength and lots of love.

To my friends I love you very much and I am sorry for the pain you are going through. I lost my father a long time ago and even though I did not have a great relationship with him I did care for him and wish things could of been different but as time goes by that feeling gets less painful and more of peace. So I wish you both a lot of peace.

For your fathers, rest in peace.

More bad news, medically I have no idea what is wrong with me but possibly Lyme disease is present and I am a lot of physical pain. Cross your fingers it's not otehr stuff the doctor thinks it is cause not sure if I could deal.

Now to good news, good news is the kids are well.

Also a hair product which seems pretty good made a deal with me, products for pictures, so I'm excited! If this works on my unmanageable hair I will be such a loyal customer and spread the word! so also cross your fingers for this to work out.

And SPRING is almost HERE!!! WOOO HOO!!!! Oh I hate winter, how I hate it! but Spring is a comin so yipeeeee and for happy, dirty fun here is proof of the wonderful weather change ;)

Well I hope life is being nice to you and your loved ones. Hugs to all.
Love,
Lola

Music has always been a great way for me to unwind

2009-03-09T06:13:00.000-07:00

and this will probably be one of those songs that makes it big, I mean Aretha Franklyn Respect big, Gloria Gaynor I will survive big, and although it does not actually portray any of my current feelings it is still one of those songs that will have you singing to the top of you lungs, well I hope. This artist has been loving music since the age of 4, according to Wikipedia, and I must say finally an artist who has actual talent and passion! I have been missing this sort of artist for a long time.

I am so sick of these pretend singers and artist that just because they have a pretty face become famous, it's sickening honestly, they sing these stupid songs and make money for NOTHING worth making money from but oh well, anyway back to my new favorite artist.

This woman not only is she gorgeous but has this soul, this warmth in her voice, this passion that makes you actually feel what she is singing. I am definitely impressed and enamored with her voice. I wish her all the best and I am grateful that she followed her dream and shares it with the world.

Ok let me tell you who she is already, I ma speaking about the fabulous Adele. Adele may never read this but I still want you to know that I love your craft, you are an inspiration and keep on doing what you are doing my dear because you, you truly and honestly have what the music industry has been lacking for so long.

The song I am just in wow over is called Many Shades Of Black, and it rocks!

Here is a video of this masterpiece. Many Shades Of Black

The way she sings this is just incredible and I believe this will be a wonderful hit!

Go ahead, turn it up, close your eyes and let the song touch you. Share it with the world, perhaps someone will say 'Finally! someone who expressed what I feel to the T!"

Enjoy and thanks for reading, Adele keep on going baby!

Love
Lola

You know you love cuteness so I am going to give you a dose

2009-03-08T14:11:00.000-07:00

Howdy! Well I am much better from health. Little by little I got back to the point of being able to breath but I still have a bit of a cough.

The kids, oh the kids are kids, screaming, fighting, pulling hair, destroying things, and that is normal stuff, what's not normal? how often they call me, I want to change my name! uhh today has been MOMMY this and MOMMY that! even to pick up something by their feet! seriously come ON!

Anyway not to cuteness, absoluteness cuteness!

are you ready cause this is a big awwwwwwwwwwwwwww moment. 2 weeks ago someone left 3 kittens in a cart at Petsmart, and well they are fine now. The foster mom has been doing her fabulous work with them and they are just the sweetest little mushy babies ever! Ok fine picture time.

I have to go care for a child but I shall be back! anyway aren't they adorable?!!!! ok gtg but I will be back ;)

My chest is on fire!

2009-03-02T16:31:00.000-08:00

Ohhhhhhhhhhh me sick! again. This time near bronchitis but it's ok I shall recover, I know it won't be fast but hey I hope it will be.

The monsters, I mean the children are being oh so very difficult, perhaps it's because I don't feel well that the things they do irritate the heck out of me. I had a break from them, my mother in law took them and instead of me relaxing and having quality time alone and with my passion, I was busy trying to battle the inevitable cold. So now that they are back I am a walking zombie.

But even though I am one, I had to obviously care for the kids, I swear moms should never get sick but we do, anyway gonna share a little story...

Elijah says he can't clean his room because he sees things that scare him, so what did I do?

Me: "Ok here is a crayon and a piece of paper. I want you to draw these things you see, draw it all ok"

E: (with a puzzled face) "ok"

Me: "details are important ok"

(Elijah draws)

A few minutes later he comes back with 4 monsters on a paper and a drawing of himself crying and says

E: "Here mommy, there on the paper"

Me: "Ok I see, aha yeah this looks kinda scary, mmm hmmm ok this is what's gonna happen. As you can see they are on the paper correct?"

E: "uhu"

Me: " ok by doing so we have trapped them in the paper"

E: (his eyes open wide) "oh k"

Me: "Ok so are you ready? (cut out Elijah from the drawing and fold the monsters in to a tiny block) now they are really trapped and you know where they are going?"

E: " WHERE?!"

Me: "In the freezer, so they can freeze for all eternity!"

E: "COOL!"

Me: "'and guess what we are going to do with the drawing of you, we are going to put it on the freezer door so you can guard the door"

E: "That. is. so. cool! thanks mommy!"

yay I saved the day and cleaning is getting done lol

Ok now for GREAT NEWS!

Lost Paws now has an official site!!! WOOOO HOOO!!!!

Lost Paws Animal Rescue

Isn't it awesome?! My husband and I worked on it, mostly him cause well this is what he does but I am so happy that we finally have a SITE!!! Tell me what you think :D

Oy well I'm off, need rest and tea :) I hope you are well.

Love,
Lola

Well that was a very short time for happiness, no more happy dance.

2009-02-25T15:39:00.000-08:00

Well a very long and complicated story but in the end I am no longer able to go to Puerto Rico :(

I am sad and disappointed but I am not going to go with the predictable and very annoying what's meant to be thing cause seriously it's annoying.

Ever wish you had super powers? I sure do, man to have super powers would be awesome but I am just a mere human and wishing doesn't get me far so yeah, eh I'm just talking nonsense cause I'm still upset.

I was so looking forward to the view, the tranquility, the scents of the Island flowers, the music, the people, :sobs: the food!!!!!!!!

I wanted to lay on the beach and listen to sound of the waves.

I wanted to get in a car and drive and drive and not know where to stop and stop and get out, walk and see what the town has to offer.

I wanted to watch a sunset and wait to see the blanket of stars above me.

I wanted to hug my family.

I wanted to hug my friends.

I wanted to kiss and play with my nieces and nephews and the kids of my friends whom I love like nieces and nephews.

I wanted to stay all night making jokes and laughing so hard my gut hurt.

I wanted to be free for a little while, just free.

So thanks a lot, to the person who has made this go down the drain, I will remember this, I have forgiven tons and when I say tons I mean it but this time I may or may not forgive you but I will certainly never forget.

My heart hurts right now but it will heal, at least I had the fantasy in my mind and in my heart, felt very happy for a while.

But just to be even more nostalgic a video...

Puerto Rico

:sigh:

Love,
Lola

Come dance with me, come on!!! do a little dance with me!

2009-02-25T05:01:00.000-08:00

Well, well cool news! I am going to Puerto Rico!
(You can dance now)

Alone! me, myself and freaking I!!!! That is right a mommy vacation, for me!

Oh I am really excited! I am thrilled, can you tell? CAUSE I AM!what does this mean? me and my new camera get to venture on a beautiful island. Looking at all the wonders of what the Island has to offer and the truth about how it being left behind. The people in PR are so full of life and yet they have to work so hard to have what little they have.

Puerto Rico is my favorite place in the world. It has my family, my friends and so many other things that I just get so nostalgic over almost all the time. The food, oh sweet drooling mouth, the food!

So I am supper excited! Let me share a few pictures from my last trip.

I have a lot of pics but not gonna post them all. I would love to do a series on homeless animals but I will need tissue and supplies because I know my heart will hurt when I see all these poor creatures in the streets.

Anyway I hope you are well.

Love,
Lola

I don't know him but I am thinking about him

2009-02-19T05:38:00.000-08:00

New York City is a great place. It has everything you can imagen and busy as a bee hive. It has every race you can imagen, the diversity is astounding and the way it keeps on going day or night is pretty cool, well that is unless you live near a big neon sign that keeps blinking through your window.

The city has so much to offer when it comes to land marks. You could go to any place and eat any type of food. If you want entertainment it's the place to be, you can catch a comedy show, a play, go to a museum, an art gallery, a charity event, you could pretty much find anything you want and like.

It really is a great place but if you look at all the happy faces walking around, shopping and having a good time you will still be able to find faces of hopelessness. Faces of despair and sadness. You will find humans starving and sleeping in the hard, cold floor who have lost every glimpse of hope in what life has to offer.

You will find children, teens, adults and elderly people who have no place to call home, who have anything to eat, clean clothes, basic necessities to survive. Things we all at one time or another take for granted. Things we see as normal or even unimportant but would mean the world to one of the people who have to day in and day out deal live with or I guess live with out because of so many reasons. To top it off, there are people who have set in their minds that many of the people who are in this situation asked for it. Who think that with just a snap of a finger the homeless can just get out of their situation just like that and have little or no sympathy for those who are wondering in the streets.

Mental illness isn't even a consideration any more. Loss of a job and addiction to substances that rot your mind are seen as oh well too bad they asked for it, compassion is just not there any more. The lack of understanding that it can truly happen to anyone is seen as a myth or something that is only in the past but with the economy not looking any better is it really that impossible to envision that it CAN happen to anyone? I don't believe so.

As I was having a good time and looking at things I could never afford in store windows like Louis Vuitton and so on I noticed a pile of clothes on the floor next to a building. A building that had pretty windows with pictures of animals and jewelry, and where the pile of clothes were I saw a heating vent. It was 20 something degrees and I had on plenty of clothes, gloves and warm shoes and I was cold! As I kept walking I noticed that it wasn't just a pile of clothes that someone had dropped but it was someones living space. A person laying on the ground, in freezing weather trying to keep warm next to the building's heating vent and then it happened my heart sank.

I was complaining about a stupid blister and here is a person who doesn't even have a home, a bed, a pillow, something warm to eat or drink, if this person got hurt no one to help them, no money to buy medicine, nothing. I didn't have much at the time, but I felt I had to do something. So I began to walk to find a place that had food and then it got worst, I walked by a church on the same street and there were 10 more people, putting cardboard up, huddling together to stay warm, laying on the steps of the church, if I felt sad with just one person imagen how I felt when I saw a a group.

My husband looked at me like I was insane, I think cause he knew that I HAD to do something, I didn't know what but something.

I saw a cop car and I asked the police men about shelters and they said that "the shelters were absolutely full". I then asked if they were going to tell the people to move? and they said "no" that they were "safe" there because it's a church and the law protects them, but that there are people who want to change that law and the officer strongly disagrees with them wanting to change it. I too agree with the officer.

I then asked the officer of there was a place to get coffee or tea or soemthing and he told me about a bakery around the area, but looked at me like I just asked if he could get me the moon. I said "thank you" and asked my husband to follow me. He too looked at me like I was insane.

Once we got to the bakery I asked for a lot of hot teas, the clerk joking asked "are they all for you?" and I responded no. He then asked me "who they were for?" and I told him "it's for the people at the church" at that point the clerk made the crucifix sign and said "oh I have to start going to church" I smiled and he asked "do you go to church often?" at that point I told him "I don't go to church at all, I don't believe in God" his eyes got so wide and then he asked me "well what do you believe then? and wait if it's not for the people in the church, who is this for? are you getting this for the homeless people that sleep there?" I answered "I believe in the kindness of those who have good hearts and yes it is for the homeless people in the street" the clerk began to laugh. He laughed and I asked him "why are you laughing?" he then composed himself and said "I have never had anyone come here and buy things for those people, and you don't even believe in God and I just, it's just funny" I smiled and he then said "I guess maybe if more people believed in what you do this world would be a better place, maybe I should start believing in what you believe too".

After all paid and done off we went. When we were approaching the church I noticed a big bus, the words homelessbus.org, I beleive, were printed on the side. I saw some of the homeless go to the bus and I though maybe they were going to be picked up to be taken to a shelter but the bus was delivering food. I asked a young man if he was with the organization and he said no and this other man said "I am" I explained that I didn't have much but I got some hot tea for all. At that point the man shook my hand and asked me if I wanted to give them out with him but I declined, I knew that if I did I would no longer be able to hold back my tears. He thanked me a few times and I mentioned that there was a person not at the church steps but on the side of a building and he said he would go get him.

We shook hands once more and off we went. Before we left I did have pass the area where the one man was sleeping and took a picture, this will stay with me for a very long time and I hope he was able to get some warmth and something to eat.

I wish I could of done more, I wish poverty did not exist. I wish so many things but wishing is not a realistic thing to do, but actual action is. I know I won't be able to help everyone in the world, I am only human you know but perhaps some day I will be able to do much more for my fellow human.

I hope you are well mister. I hope all of you in the streets are well. I will have you in my heart for as long as I live.

Love,
Lola

A rant about the new shopping carts, made with children in mind or was it?

2009-02-16T18:25:00.000-08:00

Oh my, I am really ticked off so let me be as nice as possible to the store but, hmm let me think nope can't be nice.

Dear Kmart

My body hurts! my back is in pain, my arms hurt, my foot got ran over by your STUPID freaking carts that doesn't' sit kids over the age of 6 but yet the 6 yr old MUST sit in the freaking cart because the 3 year old is sitting in it and why? because you decided to have these massive behemoth of a damn "up to tech" carts with a tv and bruhaha that doesn't even work.

So now I don't have to argue with a kid about not touching an isle item alone, no, no, no I have to keep saying "stop" about a million times because they don't fit and now they are screaming, fighting and the damn thing ain't working, so my shopping experience went from the typical "put that down and don't touch that" to 2 kids screaming "I WANT TO GET IT!!!!" add "STOP I CAN'T MOVE!" to "MOM IT ISN'T WORKING!" to "GET OFF MY FOOT!" to pushing this gigantic piece of metal with extra weight just to avoid the screaming of kids and the looks of people as if they have never seen a kid have a tantrum in the middle of the damn store.

So thank you, thank you for this wonderful experience, thank you for my back pain, for my head ache, for my pissed to the max mood and to top it all off you can't take the damn carts out to the parking lot cause your precious carts must remain inside so I had to carry heavy bags to the car while arguing with the 6 yr old to hold the 3yr old hand because I couldn't.

Yes you made my life and shopping experience so much easier. :massive sarcasm:

A very grumpy,
Lola

So as you can see my day was pretty much ohhhhh not a good one. ugh whoever said being a mom was easy lied, lied terribly!

I wanted to be all happy about my post but blah so I'll just post a picture of what I did on Saturday :)

Hope your Vday was filled with love and friendship.

Lots of love,
Lola

Why how nice of you to ask

2009-02-13T20:35:00.000-08:00

Hola ;)

Lets see, how am I? :taps fingers on desk: I am tired, but much better than before. I am in a dreaming mood, the kind of dream that makes you wish you wouldn't wake up and get upset when the alarm clock goes off.

My children are fast asleep and I am lonely but it gives me time to come here and type p how I am and how I feel. Well not how I feel really cause that would take ages but I felt the need of sharing some pictures.

Not many but just a few...

I am very in love with this picture because I got it even though this beautiful creature was behind thick glass. So serene and calm, just basking in the sun and embracing the rays.

Did you know that zebras are not black and white but actually brown and white? Well it's pretty cool, I didn't know that till I was told by the tour guide, then again I didn't double check but I trust her :D

This cute little one is an Albino turtle. You can visit this lovely creature in Sarasota Florida.
Mote Marine

This gorgeous little one is actually my moms doggy, Dolly. She is cute, sweet but boy does she have tons of energy!

Ok so not too exciting but still! Something is something. Although one odd thing happened, I am fostering a kitty and some how she got out of the crate :( I have looked every place possible but I can't find her :sigh: I just hope she's ok.

Well I am really tired, so I am off to bed, hope you all are doing well.

Happy Valentines day!!! Hope it's filled with love and wonders ;)

Love,
Lola

BLAH

2009-02-11T16:14:00.001-08:00

Well the so called dilemma has been solved, I will see my friend another time, the one in the basket ball thing. Still planing on going to Philly so that's cool.

Now to sum up my week so far, the kids-getting on my nerves. The pets-getting on my nerves. The house- getting on my nerves. Me-getting on my nerves, I think a lot has to do with the smoking thing, I haven't been able to have a full day with out a smoke but no more than 4 a day, from 20 I think that's pretty good, my health has been wonky, odd pain here and there, and dizzy and so on, I think my cold never went away completely.

Ever feel like crawling in to bed and just sleeping for days? oh I am so exhausted, for no reason! and no, I am not pregnant, it would be impossible, and no don't do the whole "miracles can happen" cause just trust me, no possible freaking way I am pregnant. Just believe me.

What else is new? I did trap a kitty, very cute, gray and small but very scared little fella. My neighbor calls it Macy, kinda weird cause one of the fosters I had who was very ill and had a feeding tube in her throat was gray and her name was Grayce, Macy- Grayce, eh guess you have to be there kinda moment.

I am feeling a bit jilted I suppose, but at least the weather has been fantastic! Nice, not cold, not hot, just right. Reminded me of Holland, well I have to get back to motherly duties woo hoo but I will come back later, maybe.

Lots of love,
Lola

Decisions & more Decisions

2009-02-09T17:21:00.000-08:00

Ok so like I previously had stated I lead a pretty boring life, I guess you can call it boring, I mean the kids keep me on my toes and the pets do to but other than that not much happens, that is until this weekend.

And nope not what you think, I wish, but nothing romantic will be happening, my husband kinda isn't good with romantic stuff, last year he forgot it was Valentines day, and even though it's just another day, would of been nice to at least say Happy Valentines Day. So I don't expect much from him anyway for this year so I am making plans for me!

Here is the dilemma, I have a friend who plays in a basket ball team and he will be playing this coming Friday in NYC, I have not seen him in so long I would love to take the kids to see him, but this would mean me, 2 kids, and NYC but I bet I can ask my brother to come and he would be more than willing to coming with. Then Saturday a friend of mine, ok so I have never met her in person but I consider her a friend, is flying from Cali to PA and I want to meet her! It's not like it's going to happen again any time soon or who knows when!

So here is the issue I never do anything alone really, and when I mentioned this to my husband he was all "does it have to be this weekend?" well lets see, umm yes, and it's not cause it's Valentines day and he's planning something, oh nooooo it's cause his boss is getting a new car and his bosses old car goes to him now, company car, so he has to drive all the way to another state, stay the night on Friday and come back on Saturday.

So I don't know what to do.

Seems silly to be the age I am and think I am a kid!

Add to that a pain I have on my side and not smoking, I am one grumpy person right NOW!

That is all.
Lola

Still feeling under the weather but much better

2009-02-08T08:27:00.000-08:00

I had to leave early the adoption day but we had a good day a few got homes and that is always exciting!

Today is going to be a good day I think, the weather is fantastic and my doggy needs a bath so perfect day. Also my baby is finally getting bigger, he used the potty today!! wooo hooo!!! as parents you know what I mean :)

Ok so I took a break from typing to actually bathe my wimpy dog, you'd think that he would like water but NO! hates it! and because he is so small (sarcasm inserted) it makes it so much easier for me to do it. At least now he smells pretty and doesn't look all dingy. The bathing isn't the worst of it, he hates the blow dryer even more, oh the torture, now he may hate me but the house and my nose thank me ;)

So what else is new? not much actually, I really do lead a very boring life but I have a few pictures to share...

On a totally fluffy note I had no idea Christian Bale was British, oh where have I been?! I would love to go to the movies and see Coraline but not today, it would be too much cause the kids are on some sort of extra hyper mode! The house is a bit of a disaster, and I feel like crawling in to bed but I can't, ugh.

Cool thing is that a Spongebob marathon is on and I love that yellow sponge, he cracks me up! I can actually do Patrick's voice, not something to be proud of but still the kids get a kick out of it. I can do a few toon voices, not great but pretty close.

Oh well I guess I should see what the little monkeys are up to, but mommy needs a nap so bad and can't take one :( I hope your day is going fabulous!

Lots of love,
Lola

AHHHHCHO! :sniff:

2009-02-06T12:48:00.000-08:00

Oy stupid winter and it's inevitable weather changes has given me a cold. I hate colds, I don't think I know anyone who likes them but I hate them cause no matter what you do they have to run a course, and it's usually not a short one.

Anyway I have some cuteness to share, a cute puppy I saw and took a picture of, that cheers me up.

I also have a picture of my silly dog and sis snow loving crazy self.

I will be taking a few pictures of my little out door adventure cause no way in hell am I cooking and so on and it is much nicer than yesterday so I am going to get the kids all bundled up and have them burn energy while we wait for the pizza.

I hope my husband comes home early today cause I am looking forward to tomorrow, it's adoption day so if I get some rest tonight and so on I can probably feel better enough that I won't be a zombie tomorrow. Tomorrow's theme is love so we are all going to wear red, will match well with the breaking out of my face, I'm 29 wth is up with pimples? but so is life I guess.

On a really good note I am getting a massage on Sunday!

I am super excited about that, I have been needing one since well who doesn't need a massage almost every night?

Ok the kids are almost ready, I am loving the growing up of the kids where I can get them to dress themselves, I can't wait till they are 18!! oh but I mean that in a good way, I love them but oh I would love them more if they grew up faster ;)

Alright! we are ready!! woo hoo!

I'll see you later :)

Love,
Lola

AMOR, Love, Dragoste, Sayang, Amore, Liefde, no matter in what language it's the language of the heart

2009-02-05T18:23:00.000-08:00

Well people do you know what holiday is just around the corner? and yes not everyone celebrates the "Hallmark" holiday but it is a nice day of friendship and love.

Every valentines day I could I would buy roses and carnations, lots of them and give one to each of my friends and people I was fond of. I wish I could do that every valentines day but sadly I can't.

Any way, because love comes in many different ways, shapes and forms, love for a parent, for a sibling, for a friend, for a child, for your spouse, etc, etc, I am making a list of romantic song you can sink back and say "that is how I feel"

I fixed the links of the previous song list I made and now the video will work for you and I shall also be putting a link for these, so enjoy :)

White Flag - Dido video

Always - Jon Bon Jovi video

When I Fall In Love - Celine Dion video

Open Arms - Journey video

You're The First, The Last, My Everything - Barry White video

Your Song - Elton John video

Unchained Melody - The Righteous Brothers video

By Your Side - Sade video

You Are So Beautiful - Joe Cocker video

Unforgettable - Natalie Cole f/ Nat King Cole video

Amazed - Lonestar video

Fever - Peggy Lee video

All Around Me - Flyleaf video

My Immortal - Evenescence video

February song - josh Groban video

From This Moment On - Shania Twain video

I Believe In You And Me - Whitney Houston video

Rush, Rush - Paula Abdul video

You Mean The World To Me -Toni Braxton video

Thank You - Dido video

Ice Cream- Sarah McLachlan video

Yesterday - Beatles video

Beautiful in My Eyes - Joshua Kadison video

Endless Love - Lionel Richie and Diana Ross video

She's Got a Way - Billy Joel video

Make You Feel My Love - Adele video

Gravity - Sara Bareilles video

The Sweetest Gift - Sade video

LoveBug - Jonas Brothers video

I'm Yours - Jason Mraz video

Use Somebody - Kings Of Leon video

All Or Nothing - Theory Of A Deadman video

I'm Missing You - Meja video

I'm Your Man - Michel Buble video

No Me Doy Por Vencido - Luis Fonsi video

Juro que te amo - David Bisbal video

I hope you enjoy them.

Just because love is the topic... let me know of songs you love so I can place on the list if you want :D
and for the heck of it

With lots of love,
Lola

Morning :sips coffee: I didn't post pics yesterday so I owe you

2009-02-05T05:34:00.000-08:00

Well as much as I detest winter, and trust me I hate it with a passion! it does have a lot of beauty in it. My friend in Puerto Rico who's kids have not seen snow ever ask "what is snow like?" and I say "put your hand in the freezer and tada, cold" yeah what a meanie but I just hate winter.

Anyway here are a few photos from yesterday...

This is my yard, well it's in the front and to the side, it was pretty early when I took this and I had to battle with my dog to keep him out of the shot, hope you like it.

This is the little fencing from my vegetable garden, it's sleeping currently, I miss it, I miss seeing the bunnies trying to get in but can't so they get upset and shake the fence lol

Too cold!!! and that was warm, oy I can't wait for spring, boy I complain a lot but I do come from a tropical island :D

And cause I felt like doing something nutty and crazy I did this one.

I'm still trying to figure out how to fix the links for the videos of my music list, I'm sorry, I wish I was more computer smart but I can't figure it out.

Well I am going to give my self a date to quit smoking, and I am picking Feb 9, cause it's more realistic if I pick a date and work myself mentally for quitting, I am really tired of the mornings of I can't breath and I am sick of depending on it so much, I do love the damn things, I really do but enough is enough, Enough is enough I can't go on, I can't go on no more no
Enough is enough

Anywho I have more pics but I have to sign them and so on :) I hope you are well.

Lots of love,
Lola

My best friend is a murderer, but I can't help but love

2009-02-04T15:18:00.000-08:00

Some people say that my best friend is a murderer.
Some people say that it's best to turn my back.
Some people say that I fooled myself in to thinking I had a friend.
Some people say that they can't even understand why I have this friend but I just can't give my friend up.

I have tried and tried but my friend has been there for me when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm hungry, when I'm tired, when I just feel like hanging out, my friend is there.
So yes it cost me more than just money to spend time with my friend but I can't seem turn my back on my friend.

I know many people have this same friend and have said "no, you aren't my friend" and been fine, actually better than ever.
I also know people who will never say adios to this friend because they have had this friend for longer than they even can remember and just don't know what to do.

In one hand I know that my friend causes me problems but in the other the comfort and ease this friend gives me is beyond words. This friend though is not hurting just me though and I don't know if I can deal with that, well at least in the level headed and kindhearted way but this friend has such a damn hold on me, I don't know how to let go.

I wish I had super powers, I wish I could just snap my fingers and tell this friend to take a hike but I am surrounded by others who also love this friend so much they rather not think of other things, or put other things which are much more important before this friend. I bet that if they joined me in the rebellion against this friend we would all benefit but that is never going to happen.

Why do I love this so called friend so much? I will tell you why, because I am addicted to this friend. I am more addicted now than I have ever been and it's killing me and I don't even care, I don't care for me but I really have to start doing that because this friend is sucking the life out of me as I suck the life out of it.

I hate to love you friend and I wish to say good bye forever but I don't know if I can. I'm scared to let you go. I'm scared that you will pull me back in to this sick and twisted relationship. I'm scared I will be weak and come back to you again like I have been time and time again. I'm scared I will fail. I'm scared.

But enough is enough and I can't keep you in my life any longer, so I am not going to say I'm sorry because I really shouldn't be for saying good bye to you, so I'll just say hello to me, to my peace of mind, to my money, to my health and to the health of those around me.

It won't be easy, I know this. It won't be smooth and pleasant but I can't be your friend any more.

So peace out to my so called friend!

Adios you liar!

Adieu...

Cigarettes. Perhaps now I will feel human once more and not like a robot who's command is to inhale you.

Wow that was longer than what I expected, sorry but yeah, I want to quit smoking, I have had enough. That's pretty much what I should of said but eh it would of been much too short :D

Love,
Lola

Dun Dun Dun

2009-02-03T19:41:00.000-08:00

Well let sees, court went great! ok so yes I had to pay but it's all good. I am very glad that nightmare is over.

I honestly have no clue what to talk about so I'm just gonna make a list of songs I love.They are not all in order or even the same genre so depending on my mood do I pick one and just go with it.

LINKS WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you ever really loved a woman. by Bryan Adams video

River Deep mountain high. by Tina Turner video

What'd I say. by Ray Charles video

A woman's worth. by Alicia Keys video

It's a man's, man's, man's world. by James Brown video

Cry me a river. by Diana Krall video

California dreamin'. by The mamas and the papas video

No woman, no cry. by Bob Marley and the Wailers video

My baby you. by Marc Anthony video

Have you ever been in love. by Celine Dion video

My all. by Mariah Carey video

Cant help falling in love. by Elvis Presley video

Like a stone. by Audioslave video

Dragula. by Rob Zombie video

Somebody to Love. by Queen video

November rain. by Guns n roses video

Creep. by Radiohead video

Ground control to major tom. By David Bowie video

Fuel. by Metallica video

Under The Bridge. by The red hot chili peppers video

Tears In Heaven. by Eric Clapton video

Losing My Religion. by R.E.M video

Dream On. by Aerosmith video

A Song For Mama. by Boyz II Men video

It's In The Rain. by Enya video

Imagine. by John Lennon video

Un Dia Llegara. by Josh Groban video

I Ain't Mad At Cha. by 2pac video

It's Oh So Quiet. by Bjork video

Criminal. by Fiona Apple video

The Way. by Fastball video

O.P.P. by Naughty by nature video

Black Hole Sun.by Soundgarden video

Nothing Compares 2 U. Sinéad O'Connor video

Somewhere over the rainbow. by Israe Kamakawiwo'ole video

And that is the list I am making for now cause it's late and I am tired!
:yawn: I hope you are doing well and tomorrow I shall post new pictures for your viewing pleasure.

Love,
Lola

Well the weekend came and went and this is what it had to offer

2009-02-02T06:06:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well obviously the Steelers won, congratulations to them and to the fans :D Went to a superbowl party and didn't even watch the game but I am not a football fan so it's cool. It was a fun party with the most delicious chili I have ever had!

Now for the news I like to call furtaculous, animal news. Lost Paws had a good weekend a few of our fosters got permanent homes, so good luck Janette, Nora, Sterling, Daisy, Sullivan, Madison, Darius and Misty. I had the opportunity to care for a few hours such cute kitties, Brooklyn , Sully and Hudson.

Such adorable and sweet kitties will have no problem getting a good home :)

As a huge animal lover a bad thing did happen though, bad news for all of us who love and care for animals. Some disgusting, horrible, sick people are hurting animals in such a horrid way it must be stopped. I will not go in to the details because it's just too horrendous but there is a petition to stop this inhumane monstrosity and here is the link petition. If you have a heart please take the time and sign it, thanks.

The kids are well, I am well, tired but well. Today though is a hard day I have a little date with a judge, for a huge misunderstanding with car insurance and so on I in a road block was pulled over and although I had a insurance card with the dates covered apparently it wasn't valid, the story is longer but I am so not gonna rehash that but just wish me luck that things go well, the judge did not like me last time cause apparently I have "money" and I use the "" cause I am no where near rich but I know how to dress properly for court, I thought everyone did! As I stood there with clothes from the thrift store with some make up and my hair nicely brushed the judge tells me "you do know that a public defender is for POOR people right?" I looked at my husband and he looked at me like "we are rich?" I told the judge "ok" but did not explain myself, he seemed to not like me from the start, I mean he compared me to a drunk driver, ohhhh k.

We did hire an attorney, and I know we are going to have fines and fees but I just hope my license isn't taken away :( I can't lose it, I have to pick my child up from school and I have been a model citizen! I guess it doesn't really matter because I did make a mistake and I should pay for it but I hope it isn't too bad.

On the flip side my little one will get to spend a day with Oma (grandma in Dutch) and I will get a break from a 3 yr old, so this minimizes the stress level a bit. So just a cheer up picture let me put a pretty flower I liked.

I hope you are well and things were great this weekend. I also wish you a very happy week!!! Thank you for reading.

Lots of Love!
Lola

I'm not the way I used to be

2009-01-30T18:30:00.000-08:00

I'm not the way I used to be
Time keeps passing by.
I feel the years piling up
I ask less questions of why?

I find myself aging day by day
My body isn't as young.
I do have fears,
I do have worries,
I do have moments joy.

The seasons come and go
The world keeps changing
And not always for the better
But it is what it is even if I wish it wasn't
Not much be done about that.

I wake, I smile, I laugh and cry
I make a fool of myself
Just to make time go by
I listen to problems and try to face my own
Even if I can't change them at least they are known.

I eat, I drink and reminisce
I look at images of childhood memories
And take new ones for when I'm older.

I dance and sing, mostly for myself
And wonder who is doing the same at the time
I smile again and begin to wonder
Of my friends who did it in their prime.

I read the news in hopes to hear a cheerful story
But sorrow and gory is what makes the cut
I guess I'm one of the few who wishes
That all of it would just stop.

These hands have felt the softness of a child
A prick from a sturdy thorn
A tear off the cheek of someone in despair
And held those in pain.

These ears have heard the laughter of pure joy
And songs that touch the soul.
The cries of someone who needs me to care
Stories that no one thought would ever be told.

These eyes have seen wonders of the world
Pure beauty
Insanity
Deception
Integrity
Fulfillment
Gratitude
Disgust
Shame
Happiness
and miracles.

These legs have limped when injured
Danced when happy
Ran when needed
And kicked when angry.

My breast have fed my children
Their true job has been fulfilled
Not as easy as I thought it would be at times
But none the less more grateful I can not be.

These lips have smiled at strangers
Have spoken truth and lies
Have tasted such bitter sweet nectar
Made a joke or two in hopes to laugh
Kissed a few people in the process
Did raspberries on a belly
Made noises to emphasis a story
Cursed at those who deserved it
And were silent when needed.

I'm not the way I used to be
But I still am me.
My body may not be the same
The things I used to like might have changed
But not by much or so I think.

I still find joy in simple things
Anger when injustice is made
Stand up for myself and others when needed
Now only with caution and using my brain.

I may have some scars
I may have some wrinkles
I may even have some gray hairs
And although I keep changing
As time goes by I feel that it will just keep getting better.

I accept you body for who you are becoming
I embrace you body for who you will be
I thank you for all that you have been through
And hope you last as long as I dream.

I'm sorry if I make you feel unwanted
I'm sorry if I make you feel uneasy
I'm sorry if I demand too much from you
And not thank you enough for what I have put you through.

I'm not the way I used to be
And guess what? that's ok
Cause even with my wrinkles
So called imperfections
And gray hairs
I still wake up every day.

So here is to you
The temple of my soul
I'm not the way I used to be
But I thank you for it all.

By Lola.

Well another day

2009-01-30T16:29:00.000-08:00

Hi you, not sure what really to write about today but here goes nothing.

My little one is perfectly fine. He woke up very happy and has been very loving and mellow, maybe the smack on the head adjusted his friskiness (hehehe...) My oldest one I suppose had a good day at school, he doesn't really like talking about school, but maybe he gets it from me tho whole not wanting to rehash boring details of things that don't really catch ones attention.

My brother came to visit, it was nice, he is on a hard search for a job but not having much luck finding one. He doesn't have a computer so he searches, submits his resume and sets up interviews, been doing this for a while but man just nothing. I wish there was more I could do for him but I myself don't work so yeah not much help at all.

Now to not confuse, well anyone I guess which I do often, I need to clarify something, even if it's just for me cause I don't know if anyone will actually ever even read this place but just in case. I have 2 sets of "parents" my biological ones and my foster ones. My biological ones, mami is alive and not well but that would take years of writing to know the why and I really don't fell like it right now. My biological father (lets call him L) died years ago, I think it was 02 but we were not very close and although I, in some level loved him, his death came and went with out doing much impact in my life so I can't even remember the date of his death.

My foster parents are really my aunt and uncle, L's sister and her husband took me in for most of my life I think, anyway I kinda call them mom and dad but they aren't, call my cousins my sisters but they aren't and they live in PR, are all doctors and super busy so I don't really like to bother them much, I feel they have no real obligation towards me so I let the wind blow and every once in a while I say hi but in life everyone has their problems and commitments so I can't expect much anyway.

I have one brother from my biological mom and two brothers from my biological dad. Two of them I am pretty close to at heart but one is in his own world and that's cool, if he's happy I wish him the best, I just in a way kind of wish he would at least call or meet his nephews but no it's ok, he doesn't' have to. I guess the point I am trying to make is I don't feel connected to "family" as time goes by and I don't think I like it but I really don't think that there is much to be done about it.

Going back to my one brother, lets call him R, R is trying hard but life is pretty hard right now. My biological mom, also someone I wish I could help, is pretty much in a state of sick of it all and I'm starting to feel pretty damn annoyed by it, it's actually making me feel the way she does and I don't really like that.

Well this was depressing, I'm sorry but I do have a "what do I do?" dilemma, not major but important to me :D See Lost Paws has adoption day every Saturday and on the 7th of Feb there is a Cat show around the same time as adoption time, but I've never been to a cat show! I want to go! I would get to see so many different types of cats and even take pictures of the awesome fluffiness but what to do? what to do? :taps fingers on desk:

I will figure it out I guess, depending on who can come to adoption day but no one I know wants to go with me to the show. Oh man I am so gonna be the crazy cat lady when I get old ain't I? yes, yes I am and to prove it a picture of one of the foster kitties I had which got adopted.

I bet Rose is doing great and I bet she's huge by now.

Well it's bed time for the kids so I have to get them ready, you know teeth brushing, story reading and hugs and kisses so I will type something later, or tomorrow. I hope you had a great day and if not then I hope tomorrow is fabulous! Wish Lost Paws luck, it will be adoption day tomorrow and oh little note, the little one let the ferret out sooo really got to go but here is a pic of Rocco just cause...

Have a great one!!
Love,
Lola

Well, I did ask for an adventure, I guess?

2009-01-29T19:50:00.000-08:00

As the day turns to a close, my day got well interesting. You know when you say "oh nothing is gonna happen" and then dun dun dun something happens? well that was my day.

My littlest one was happy at play with the big brother, nice happy, laughing play and then bam! screams, crying "OMG's!!!" blood all over the place, me "WHAT HAPPENED?" and then more blood. He was spinning, lost control and hit the edge of the entertainment center. Poor little guy was in so much pain but his brother was even worst, once he saw the blood he freaked out.

Big brother kept trying to keep calm and comfort the little one but every time he got a glimpse at the blood he would just lose it. So the ER trip was inevitable and even though he was in obvious pain, this kiddo kept his cool the entire time. As the doctor wiped his wound and talks to him about what is going to be done, he just looks at the doctor like nothing, the doc says "this is going to hurt a little" and my baby says "it's doesn't hurt" wow. Here is the poor little fella.

They had to place some numbing medication on his brow and it was a 20 min wait so what did he do? fall asleep. So he was asleep for the entire thing. No stitches but yes to the glue.

:sigh: I guess I did ask for it. At least everything came out fine and everyone is now relaxing.
I hope your day was much better than mine :)

Much Love,
Lola

Another day

2009-01-29T05:56:00.000-08:00

Good morning world and all who inhabit it.

Lets see, today, today, what to do today? :hmmm:I seriously should leave the house and see what the day has to offer but I am feeling oh so lazy. I could use a break from the constant "mom, mom, mom, mom, MOM!" I have been having to hear recently, it's beginning to become like nails on a chalk board. Sooooo wanna change my name ;)

Then again how can one get upset at faces like these?

Oh but one does get very tired after a while. I would love to have a day of just taking my camera out and venturing in my town but it's not possible with the kiddo's and yes today one is in school I still have the difficult one who loves to run as soon as freedom is presented.

In other news one of our kitties from Lost Paws has been adopted, Darius has found a good home and that is fantastic! Buff beauty with such a sweet personality, he will be a great fur baby to the family who adopted him.

Well I guess I should get going and see what adventure I have today, may not be at all exciting but I won't know unless I get off my behind and do it.

Hope you have a magical day :D

Make a wish...

Lots of love,
Lola

My world

2009-01-28T05:52:00.000-08:00

Hello to all. My name is Lola and I do not consider myself a professional photographer but some beg to differ, I guess it's hard to consider myself one since I did not technically study photography but I do love it.

I do consider myself an artist, I mean the definition of an artist is a person who produces works in any of the arts that are primarily subject to aesthetic criteria.

I dance, I sing, I write poetry, I am always finding a new way of expressing myself through art, being making crafts or by my most recent (less than 2 yrs) passion photography.

I must confess I am not very good at grammar and proper English but I do my best.

I grew up mostly in Puerto Rico and while Spanish is the main language I never let my English vanish so here I am today. I am a huge animal lover and my other passion is helping our furry and feathered creatures.

As a child I would save up money to feed the homeless animals and make sure they were healthy. Today I volunteer for a wonderful organization which focuses on making sure the animals have a good, stable, caring, loving and permanent home. Lost Paws Animal Rescue is composed by people just like myself who give their time and love to these homeless critters.

You can visit the myspace page at Lost Paws Animal Rescue and there is information on the current available pets and how you can too be a helpful hand.

For donations to Lost Paws Animal Rescue, please click on the donation icon.

Well again I hope you enjoy my little world and find yourself sharing your world with me.

With lots of LOVE,
Lola